Need advice to help someone with a good heart who is being greatly taken advantage of


A guy I work with is allowing himself to become a doormat for a manipulative, exploitive older woman he knows.
This woman has family who are very capable of seeing to her needs. I have questioned him about her circumstances, and have met her on several occassions. She is as transparent as glass as far as I’m concerned.
She has 3 adult sons who live within 5 minutes of her. They all have money and they all support her. She lives VERY comfortably. She is also a severe hypochondriac and a pathological liar.
She claims her children do nothing for her, never come to visit, blah blah blah.

This woman is MEAN. She never has a nice word to say about anyone or any thing. She is masterful at playing the helpless widow, when in fact she has more money in the bank than he or I put together. She is a TOTAL control freak.

The problem here is that my friend is a very decent man. He can NOT see that she is taking advantage of him but anyone with half a brain who has met this woman can see right through her. This situation is causing him much grief and lack of sleep. She has him taking her everywhere and calling him at all hours of the night to attend to her selfish wants and needs. She lies about how her sons and their families treat her. She does all of this for attention and nothing else.

I have told him that he is being taken for a fool and that I will go to her sons and tell them what she is doing to my friend and how she is ruining his life by exploiting his kindness and generosity. This has been going on for over a year now and he keeps saying he’ll handle it…yet he continues to allow her to manipulate him and take advantage of him.

I am rapidly losing my respect for HIM since he can’t see the forest for the trees. This situation amazes me because this man is very intelligent, ran a company of his own for years and is a father and grandfather himself.

What am I to do? I can’t sit idly by and watch this woman exploit his kindness any longer and quite frankly, I’m sick of hearing about this miserable woman. I have NO respect for her at all and she knows I’m on to her.


Pray, hope, and don’t worry.


Hey, I DON’T know the guy.

but maybe, just maybe, this is what he wants?

Not all rewards are tangible or readily apparent.

Maybe he sees something in her that you don’t ?

you say he is an intelligent man, so I suspect there is nothing you have said here he doesn’t already know.


You can tell him how you feel . . . and you did.

You can tell him you don’t want to hear about her, given how you feel.

Then butt out. Not your business, not your call.


I think I am appreicated your concern for this man. As other suggested, you could always pray for him and for her. On the other hand, you could also do much prayer for yourself - I read your post and it seems it bothers you so much … even losing respect for the guy, as you said, “a good heart”. This doesn’t sound right to me.


Could it be that he takes time with her because she is mean and exploits people? I mean maybe he sees that she is lonely because she has made it difficult for people to like her. Maybe he has compassion for her because she is an unpleasant person. We are told to love our neighbor. Just a thought…


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