Need advice


#1

Hi,

I am a 35 year old man who would like to know if I can/should get a hair transplant.

Here is my situation... I am currently going through an annulment and cannot date for awhile. I have been told that this is a time for me to spend with God and to prepare myself for my future. I have been actively working on healing some emotional wounds from my past so i can enter a new relationship and be healthy. Because the human person is spirit and body, there are bodily things that I am also working on. Working out - losing weight and toning my body, getting invisalign braces to fix my teeth and teeth whiting for a nicer smile. These things are a no brainer for me...

I do have a physical birth defect on my face, which I cannot change. I am content with it. I do have a seriously receding hairline and the hairloss makes me look much older than I am and feel. I know that the right woman will not really care if I am bald or not, but I do care. I am discerning if this is just vanity/lack of trust in God's providence, or if in His providence he is giving me the freedom to do something about it because i do have the financial means.

The Serenity prayer raises this question in my heart...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Another question is, would getting a hair transplant - going from nearly bald to a good head of hair actually turn off the girls I already know - they may tink I am being too superficial?

Please - Ladies especially - Share your feedback!!!


#2

I just want to make myself as attractive as possible in hopes of increasing my chances of meeting my future mate. I really want to find my Love and start a family...


#3

go for it:)


#4

If you can afford it, DO IT! ;)


#5

As long as you're a good candidate for it and can afford it, I see nothing wrong with it.

As for turning off the women you already know--I wouldn't think so. Let's face it, everyone looks better with hair! Even if a woman thought it was vain, I'd check to see if she wears makeup and dyes her hair. :D

Good luck!


#6

I wouldn't. And I'm bald.

A lot of women don't mind bald men (my wife is one) at all. Sean Connery and Patrick Stewart are two examples that women like despite their baldness.

A shiny bald head looks better than a stiff rigid combover.

A guy I used to work with had hair transplants. They didn't take. So now he's bald again, but with a huge ugly scar across the back of his neck from where the plugs came out of. And scar tissue built up on his scalp that quite frankly makes him look like a Dick Tracy villain. I have a relative who also had plugs and they didn't last. So he gets to watch his hairline recede again.

Compare:
http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2010/02/14/pagesix/photos_stories/cropped/012_donald_trump--300x300.jpg http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/indianajones/images/thumb/7/70/SirSeanConnery.jpg/300px-SirSeanConnery.jpg

And finally: Want to look more manly? Shave your head, as study reveals bald men are seen as more dominant


#7

sure, show the worst of one
and the best of the other
:rolleyes:


#8

Sean looks better than Donald, merely because he's more handsome but even Sean looks better with hair.

=videos&sort=1&o=0


#9

God gave me the best husband in the world. :heart:

He isn't totally bald, but mostly. I love his hair just the way it is. I even love to shampoo his scalp and hair.

If you want to have a hair transplant for yourself, maybe it is the right choice. I wouldn't choose for my husband to have a hair transplant even if it was free.

As you continue to loose hair, will you need more transplant procedures?


#10

Whatever you decide to do about your lack of hair, I commend you for using this time to get closer to God.

"Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all the rest will be added unto you."

I hope the best for you!


#11

You should read this before making a decision: ehow.com/about_4616213_dangers-hair-transplants.html


#12

[quote="roman33, post:2, topic:303985"]
I just want to make myself as attractive as possible in hopes of increasing my chances of meeting my future mate. I really want to find my Love and start a family...

[/quote]

It is all about confidence.If you think it will make you feel more confident then why not?
However there is so much more 'substance' to a person loving someone than mere looks.

My husband is receding ( a lot).To me he is the most handsome attractive husband in the world. My eldest son is 28 and completely bald and very attractive too! I love my husband because he is a wonderful person.He makes me laugh he is so interesting fun caring intelligent thoughtful (good cook lol) so many things make him...him. I feel in love with his personality.

I know upon meeting someone you want to look and 'feel' your best.......If I were in your shoes I would do my best to make myself feel as confident about my appearance as possible. If for you, that is having your hair transplant, then fine go ahead (if you can afford it).

On the other hand perhaps confidence counselling or self esteem classes may be of use.

I hope you feel happy no matter what you decide to do......Good luck :)

God bless you.


#13

Have you tried cutting your hair really short? Like a buzz cut? The worst is when men do a combover. I respect a guy more that says, Yes, I am losing my hair, I know it, and I am comfortable with it. It is a confident man that is comfortable with his hair really short, or not there at all. And confidence is very attractive to women!

One more thing. I commend you on your quest for God, and your healthy lifestyle. But not all women are so shallow that hair matters to them all that much. It truly is what is in your heart and in your mind.

I wish you the best.


#14

Oh yeah!! :thumbsup:

[quote="Richard320, post:6, topic:303985"]
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/indianajones/images/thumb/7/70/SirSeanConnery.jpg/300px-SirSeanConnery.jpg

[/quote]


#15

I think you shouldn't do it; i think being a confident, bald guy is impressive, and i think that why spend the money on something so temporal? i personally think that being yourself, inside and out is the best way to go about it. good luck with you're dating!! :thumbsup:


#16

Character matters, not hair. If a woman is interested because of your hair, frankly she isn't worth your time. You are working on becoming a more Godly man. You deserve a woman who is also a Godly woman. The other things you are doing have a direct impact on your health. God created you to be healthy. Being the authentic person, warts (or bald) and all that God created you to be is the most attractive quality there is in anyone. Someone who is deeply in love with Jesus is another of the most attractive qualities there is. Don't buy into all the physical perfection stuff that we women tend to buy into, then have to battle to get out of. God loves you deeply just as you are. He created you to be just as you are. (That doesn't mean we don't daily work on our spiritual growth.)
Also, some things are considered self-mutilation, so before doing any optional surgical proceedures, I would check with your priest to make sure your conscience is properly formed on this issue.
Kris


#17

[quote="roman33, post:1, topic:303985"]
Hi,

I am a 35 year old man who would like to know if I can/should get a hair transplant.

Here is my situation... I am currently going through an annulment and cannot date for awhile. I have been told that this is a time for me to spend with God and to prepare myself for my future. I have been actively working on healing some emotional wounds from my past so i can enter a new relationship and be healthy. Because the human person is spirit and body, there are bodily things that I am also working on. Working out - losing weight and toning my body, getting invisalign braces to fix my teeth and teeth whiting for a nicer smile. These things are a no brainer for me...

I do have a physical birth defect on my face, which I cannot change. I am content with it. I do have a seriously receding hairline and the hairloss makes me look much older than I am and feel. I know that the right woman will not really care if I am bald or not, but I do care. I am discerning if this is just vanity/lack of trust in God's providence, or if in His providence he is giving me the freedom to do something about it because i do have the financial means.

The Serenity prayer raises this question in my heart...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Another question is, would getting a hair transplant - going from nearly bald to a good head of hair actually turn off the girls I already know - they may tink I am being too superficial?

Please - Ladies especially - Share your feedback!!!

[/quote]

What is going to matter with your relationship with women is how you interact with them. Flirting, teasing, proper compliments.

Looking nice is always a plus and should not be carelessly disregarded, but it's really about how you connect with a woman emotionally in most cases.

Being pro-active is not doubting God, it's executing the gifts you have. Unless you think you have a calling to the contemplative life of a monk, I don't see anything sinful with what you are doing, providing you can afford this and maybe be charitable besides.


#18

My advice? Don't do it. There is no garantee it'll hold, and it will leave you with a scar on your scalp that will be visible and awful if/when it's lost anyways. And it may seem a bit extreme, but it isn't at all permanant if you...

Shave your head.

Yes, I know, it's scary. But there's only one way off the norwood chart that is totally sure to work, and won't mess up your body chemistry or scalp. It isn't permanant, and it won't cost nymore money than it takes for a blade, cream, and cooling lotion, so if you don't like it, you can grow it back in and try for the transplant.

The thing is, guys actually look good totally bald. If you do this, your confidence is going to get an immediate boost. Just try it for a couple weeks, see how things go. Which will be ten times better than you think it will.

I'm not balding, but I've been shaving my head since last month and it feels good. People compliment me, everyone at my church likes it, but that's not why it's awesome. It just... it's awesome. I'm bald, and I chose it. And it feels good. There were a lot of sins I was dealing with, serious sins, temptations all over. Taking it all off left me with a massive mindset change that completely obliterated the temptations for a good chunk of time. It was a relief, spiritually. And it just feels good.

Sorry if I'm sounding like I'm trying to sell something. But, I'm trying to get the better idea accross to you. This would increase your confidence, and that's far more attractive to a woman than hair is.

And I'm sorry if I'm coming off as insensitive. But to those of us who have gone totally bald, even by choice, hair really isn't a big deal anymore.

Here, check this site out. It's really useful for anyone considering, well, anything of this nature. Most of the guys here know exactly what you're going through. Ask about what people have gone through with transplants. Ask what it's like otherwise.

slybaldguys.com/

Seriously check it out, ask around, just... stuff. These guys know what you're going through.

And think of it this way. Maybe God has decided that your head is a cool enough part of creation that he wants people to see it. Not sure how theologically correct that is, but...


#19

[quote="Phaedra777, post:5, topic:303985"]
As long as you're a good candidate for it and can afford it, I see nothing wrong with it.

As for turning off the women you already know--I wouldn't think so. Let's face it, everyone looks better with hair!
Good luck!

[/quote]

Some have said I look better without it... I'm not balding.


#20

[quote="Christianus_Dei, post:18, topic:303985"]
My advice? Don't do it. There is no garantee it'll hold, and it will leave you with a scar on your scalp that will be visible and awful if/when it's lost anyways. And it may seem a bit extreme, but it isn't at all permanant if you...

Shave your head.

Yes, I know, it's scary. But there's only one way off the norwood chart that is totally sure to work, and won't mess up your body chemistry or scalp. It isn't permanant, and it won't cost nymore money than it takes for a blade, cream, and cooling lotion, so if you don't like it, you can grow it back in and try for the transplant.

The thing is, guys actually look good totally bald. If you do this, your confidence is going to get an immediate boost. Just try it for a couple weeks, see how things go. Which will be ten times better than you think it will.

I'm not balding, but I've been shaving my head since last month and it feels good. People compliment me, everyone at my church likes it, but that's not why it's awesome. It just... it's awesome. I'm bald, and I chose it. And it feels good. There were a lot of sins I was dealing with, serious sins, temptations all over. Taking it all off left me with a massive mindset change that completely obliterated the temptations for a good chunk of time. It was a relief, spiritually. Not sure if it'll work the same for you, but it probbly will. What I'm saying is, literally and figuratively, it took a load off my mind. And it just feels good.

Sorry if I'm sounding like I'm trying to sell something. But, I'm trying to get the better idea accross to you. This would increase your confidence, and that's far more attractive to a woman than hair is.

And I'm sorry if I'm coming off as insensitive. But to those of us who have gone totally bald, even by choice, hair really isn't a big deal anymore.

Here, check this site out. It's really useful for anyone considering, well, anything of this nature. Most of the guys here know exactly what you're going through. Ask about what people have gone through with transplants. Ask what it's like otherwise.

slybaldguys.com/

Seriously check it out, ask around, just... stuff. These guys know what you're going through.

And think of it this way. Maybe God has decided that your head is a cool enough part of creation that he wants people to see it. Not sure how theologically correct that is, but...

[/quote]


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