Need Advice

My friend who I have known for over 30 years appears to at least to me in a cult.

She and her husband who died were friends for several years, until they decided they didn’t like my husband. As far as I know he didn’t do anything to them, however, they knew that he was abusive to me and my children. Many years after our divorce I found out he was bi-polar, which he probably doesn’t even know now. Well they more or less deserted me along with him. I met them at the church we both attended and then they left and became Charismatics and fundamentalists. Although the wife and I stayed in contact over the years our close relationship changed between their dislike for my husband and their faith.

Her husband died over five years ago and she said it took her that long to be able to speak to me and others, except those at her cousin’s mega church.

We have basic Christian beliefs, but of course, I became a Catholic and that really seemed to stop most of our relationship.

A few months ago she called and invited me to lunch, then it was at least every other week that she would invite me. Last time we were discussing something regarding faith, I don’t even remember what. I have always spoken to her in the fundamentalist language as it avoided conflict and never pushed or even mentioned Catholic beliefs. Well she did not agree with whatever was being discussed and now she said she was in “that” mood where she didn’t want to talk. I finally realized that because we don’t agree on something regarding our faiths she will walk away again.

Maybe someone here can explain to me why if one is truly a Christian they can turn away from a very long relationship for such a shallow reason.

From some of her comments about the teachings and also what one of her ministers told her when her husband died, I believe she is in a cult, her pope is her cousin who makes at least $100,000 a year and his wife also gets a large salary. Her life seems to be only connected to her church and to be honest she has no knowledge of Christian history or the early church. She believed over 30 years ago that Christ was coming soon and based her life on this belief, although it did not happen, she still believes it is soon. I told her no one knows, not even Christ said He didn’t know the day and time.

I have left messages for her and she has not responded, so I need advice on to let her go and in the future if she decides she wants to talk to me again etc. should I just avoid her.

It is a painful experience to lose a friend because of their faith.

In the Hearts of Jesus and Mary


Let her go. But continue to love her by praying for her.
As far as what to do in the future if she should contact you, I’d say don’t worry about that now. When/if that happens, then seek God’s will as to what you should do. He’ll let you know either interiorly thru prayer, or exteriorly thru others (priest, trusted friend, Scripture, etc.).

It is painful to lose a friend of that many years, no matter what the reason.

I say just let her go. You can pray for her. If she contacts you again, you can decide whether or not you would like to re-establish contact at that time.

If she contacts you again, I would not meet with her unless she says upfront that something has changed (“I just wanted to let you know that I’ve left my church & thought we could talk about where I go from here…”). I’ve been jerked around by a few “friends” & family members, & the heartache is not worth it. Just my 2 cents.

Her friendship and her “Christianity” is what’s shallow, she lacks education, and she fears being wrong.

Every second of every day it’s the end of the world for thousands of people who die. Jesus immediately judges them. And it’s either heaven immediately with the possibility/probability of purgatory first, or hell. No need to argue about it with her.

Pray for her. You can’t change her if she doesn’t want to change…

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