Need advice!


Hello ya’ll!
I have found myself in a situation and I am not sure what to make of it.
I have been spending lots of time with a good male friend of mine. He is part of a large group of friends that we both frequently would do stuff with. About 4 months ago we started spending more time together, much of it alone. We email frequently as well. I really, really like him, but I am confused. A couple weeks ago he said he needed a break. He has said and done things that implied that he was interested in me as more then a friend, although not so much lately, and then he wanted to spend a little less time together. He does not want to talk about any sort of relationship and refuses to say if were dating or not-yet even after wanting a break he is still seeing me and emailing me. I don’t know what’s going on and I need help. I don’t know whether to spend less time with him or just wait patiently for him to decide what we’re doing. . :confused:
Thanks and God bless


It sounds to me like he’s kinda scared to spend more time with you because that might mean he needs to make a committment to you. Don’t wait by the phone for him to call. Move on with your life. If you really like him and he really likes you, he might just need the break to figure things out. Don’t push him. If you don’t hear from him again, be thankful that you found out early enough that he doesn’t want to get serious. By the way, I’m speaking from experience here. I know how tough it is to spend time with someone in hopes that a real relationship will develope and then have it fizzle. But now that I’m older and wiser (I think!) I can see that it’s a good thing to let some people go. I’ll be praying for you.


Don’t push, don’t cast your hopes with him, either.


He is playing you, intentionally or not. He is not emotionally mature and lacks character. He is, in short, just not that in to you.

Do not “wait patiently”. Don’t be available. Don’t make reasons up to see him. Don’t call. Don’t email.

Move on.


You have gotten good advice. Love shouldn’t have to be forced. If you have to beg a man to want you, it doesn’t bode well for the future. And someone who leaves you dangling and plays head games and doesn’t want what he has and then when he loses it wants it back… trust me… you DON’T need that kind of man in your life.

Let him grow up. If you’re still available when he does that, then he can call you. Go find a grown-up. You deserve that.


He’s fielding offers, or to make that real estate analogy apply a little better, he looks at like this:

He figures that he can start dating you any time he wants, hence your “offer” is in. Now what he wants to do is hold onto that offer while still being able to play the field for another “offer.” In short, don’t let him do it. If you do he’ll pretty much treat you like a doormat.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit