I really need some guidance on what to do. To make a long story short, my wife started doing bible study with a friend at a bible church awhile back. She now goes to church there and is very critical of the Catholic church, the same old apologetic stuff. Every Sunday is a problem in our house. She says to compromise and go to both services but I feel that I cannot believe what the catholic church teaches and also go there. It is living a lie to me. When they pass bread and grape juice it is mockery to me. We have 2 young daughters also and they love to go to church with her because church is fun and daddy’s church is boring. I now am at the point where I will not go with her at all. I went in the past to try and preserve some family unity in the midst of this but I can’t do it any longer. To make matters worse our local parish is really bad. It is one reason she quit going. I know I’m rambling but it is a very tough situation difficult to explain. Has anyone been in this mess before? It breaks my heart she put this split in our family. I am very angry at her friend for doing what protestant think is right, bringing people into their way of faith without looking at the damage they leave behind to the families.
Hey, I’ll be praying for you! I have no advice, but I know how hard it is to see those we love fall away from faith. I’ll be praying for your wife and daughters that they see the beauty of the Church and come home!
There are things you can and should do in terms of evangelizing your wife.
I am not sure what to do about the kids. My heart aches for all of you. But I think someone here will have more insight on that.
Here are some ideas that may be non-confrontational:
-insist on family prayer times. Tell your wife you inderstand that she is searching and that this is a difficult time for you both, but say that you trust that if you reach out and pray together as a family that you will get through it. Ask your wife what kind of prayers she would be interested in using. Ask her if the Rosary is okay etc. ANy prayer that is earnest is real and will help.
-you may try and find a better parish depending on what is making your present parish a problem.
-We have a number of great converts who have their stories published. Reading those may provide you with insight and comfort. Scott Hahn probably went through a rough time while his wife was not yet a Catholic. His story may be of interest to you.
- This may be a time for renewing your own faith life. To inspect your own prayer habits etc. Do you have a spritual guide? If you don’t have access to a priest you trust, then I would recommend a book like “The Introduction to the Devout Life” by St. Francis de Sales. There are other ones out there this one is just a suggestion. The text is on line so you can see the table of contents and the tone the author uses.
I’d look for a new parish.
Also, the Catholic Church has so many interesting aspects–perhaps you could take some time and tell your daughters stories of the Faith. I don’t know what age they are, but there are so many resources on the lives of the saints. I used to amuse my siblings for hours with those stories–and they still remember those stories so many years later.
I’d recommend the book “My Life on the Rock” by Jeff Cavins, who went though EXACTLY what your wife is doing right now. Hopefully she’ll read it, if not, perhaps it will at least give you hope. Learn as much as you can about the Catholic faith so you can answer any objections she has. If there is a better parish in the area to go to, maybe you could switch to there.
Good luck and God bless you and your family! Stay strong!
Thanks for the advice everyone. I feel better just talking about it with someone.
you might want to look into a family oriented Catholic apostolate that is both orthodox and joinful.
Regnum Christi has nice youth clubs as well as formative adult programs.
And, the Apostolate for Family Consecration is very nice. I’m sure there is more.
fatimafamily.org/ is a wonderful group.
a bad parish is a big problem. could you drive to a better one?
Finding a community is very important. If you can gather some devout Catholic families around you, life will get easier. Maybe you could arrange to invite some for dinner a couple times a month. We have a small home based Catholic community. The kids have a ball playing. We do a rosary all together and then the adults pray and study. My nonCatholic spouse really enjoys it.
Do you have Satellite Radio? If not, look into Sirius - you can have great interesting Catholic radio 24/7.
Get some good books to study together - it is important that your wife learn WHAT she is leaving. To leave Christ in the Eucharist, to leave the Church begun by Christ, to walk away from vows she made at Confirmation - at her Wedding and at her children’s baptisms, all for a “fun” hour on Sunday? Help show her what she is leaving.
Also, pray and fast for your wife.