I want to know what other Catholics in my situation would do. I am 44 years old, separated from my husband since 2001 (do not want to go back) and have 3 children ages 5, 6, and 21. I home school the little ones and my eldest daughter is taking college courses online.
In September 2001 we began taking almost full time care of my mother, who has Alzheimer’s. She is in the late stages now, and requires the same care an infant would. I actually cared for her from 1999, on a sporadic basis, as I was pregnant and then had an infant son. My dad would drop here off when he had to go to work or shopping, and although at that time she would become quite agitated, I pulled it off OK.
In 2002 we moved into my parent’s home so we could care for mom full time. It was too hard to come in the morning (at that time my oldest daughter was in a catholic all girls’ high school, 30 miles away. We would leave a little before 6:30 am, with my baby son and daughter and I would drive an hour there and back to my parents home, feed the babies, bathe and dress and feed my mother, entertain, feed lunch to babies and mom, time to pick up my oldest, an hour there and back again, relax a bit, start dinner, wait for dad, eat, do dishes, home at 9:30 or so, bed, up and do it again) and leave at night. Moving in made it easier on everybody. I had my home that my father bought for me in 1987. But we only used it for the little ones visitation with their father, once we moved into my parents. That was mine and my oldest daughter’s home for 13 years.
My father has been having an affair with his secretary since the late 70’s. I found this out in 1996 when he had open heart surgery. She told me. I see now that my father has been living a double life since then, and this probably had a lot to do with my mother going down hill so fast. Dad says hi to mom in the morning and tucks her in bed at night, but that is the extent of his involvement. I should also mention I have a 42 year old mentally retarded brother, who apparently now is my full responsibility too. Last summer I mentioned I would like to take the kids to the zoo, on a Sunday, and he (Dad) would need to look after mom for 3 or 4 hours. His response was “Like Hell!” Oh, by the way, he works 7 days a week, from 8 in the morning till 9 at night. (Yeah, Right)
I found out last week that my home was being auctioned off on the court house stairs Friday of last week. It’s gone. I am so angry. I can’t believe he would treat us this way after we have helped him as much as we have. He has money to go to expensive restaurants with you know who and take 4 and 5 day weekends out of town with her. I’m sick. There is even more to this, but I won’t go on…I want to know how a good catholic mother, daughter, sister, would handle this. I am so hurt and angry. My father is so hateful l towards us, and I just don’t get it.