HI Good CA Forum Members! My sister (lapsed Catholic … making noises about coming home…:)) is JUST recently divorced -i mean, the decree came down about 3 months ago… Having done a bit of research in canon law (and advice from the excellent Fr. Serpa!), since she wasn’t married in the Church, her marriage was not valid. Thus, she could get married (truly for the first time) in the Church. THe problem: her ex husband had repeated affairs on her… and during their 1-1 1/2 year separation prior to their divorce decree, SHE starting “dating” Mr. X… so now at 3 months post official divorce, she’s already talking marriage with Mr. X (after all “we’ve been dating for nearly 2 years!”) Obviously, this is totally rebound and a recipe for disaster… she needs to wait, be alone, heal and then, maybe years from now, think about marrying (and hopefully to a strong catholic man!) Oh- most saliently, did I forget to mention she has 3 KIDS UNDER THE AGE OF 10?! Anyhow, does anyone know of any books/reports/studies on divorce & remarriage that would illuminate my sister? I’ve told her that bringing a stepparent into the situation is NEVER good for the kids… and the kids, she says, are her “first priority” (but her intended actions certainly don’t support that!) Also, she and, more importantly the kids are dealing with a terribly messy situation on the ex-husband’s side— he is already dating heavily/living part time with another woman- who is STILL married (in the process of getting a divorce…). Yes, I know, yuck ! But , please, if anyone can recommend any books, studies, articles, etc., that could possibly help my sister see she is being overly rash, I would be very grateful (and yes, please pray for my sister TLG and her 3 kids… )! many thanks
The Divorce Culture
I thought, reading your post that maybe I can pray for your sister. It sounds like she really needs Holy Spirit help.
She might not be open to reading or listening if she’s so keen to rush in where angels fear to tread. It must be very difficult for her, for you, and the family, and very much so for the children. Their stability and needs are a priority, as you indicate. I guess your sister is so hurt by the actions of her former husband she just wants to rush in and try to create that wonderful relationship she missed out on first time around.
Anyhow, I will pray for her and the children, and for your family, which has clearly already been through a lot with her sad marital breakdown. She’s blessed that she has you, and I’m sure you are a significant focus for stability for her children. Bless you, Trishie