So, I have been out with a beautiful Christian girl on 3 dates now and I thought it was all going really well - you know the usual things, a lot in common, laugh a lot together, talk a lot etc.
That’s a great start. But I have a few questions…
Who initiated the dates?
Are you sure they were dates and not just friends getting together? If so, why are you sure?
I thought everything was going ok until she told me that at the moment she only sees me as a good friend. She also said though that could develop into more over time.
How did this come up in conversation? Did you do anything at all that could have made her feel any sort of pressure to be “romantic”?
She told me she enjoys spending time with me and she has asked me to go for lunch next week.
Now, would that be as a “date” or as “just really good friends”?
I feel really sad at this because I thought we both seemed to be enjoying each others company and she has even asked me for lunch next week, yet I get the classic “just friends, thanks”.
Without knowing you or her, it is very hard to know what’s really going on. Don’t make any snap decisions until you have some time to think about it some more.
I am a very impulsive person and my instinct is to think that I should just stop seeing her all together so that I will not get hurt further, or do I continue to see her in the hope that she will like me in a romantic kind of way.
It really depends on so much more than you can share here. But, i’ll give you some food for thought…
You admit to being impulsive. To me that means you may rush things a bit and maybe made her uncomfortable. If that is the case, then I suggest you try being “just friends” for now and let things develop more slowly.
I personally would have an open, honest discussion with her if I were you. Let her know that you are the type of person who hopes to marry one day and have a family (if that is who you are) and you take dating seriously because you are hoping to find your future spouse.
** Let her know that you feel that you would love to pursue a relationship with her for all of the reasons you listed (laugh together, things in common etc) and see if it develops into something special.**
The only way any type of relationship can work is if both people are honest about who they are and what they want (to themselves and to eachother).
If she isn’t looking for a serious relationship right now or in’t interested in you that way, politely tell her that you need to move on and that you would find it too painful to be “just friends” when you like her romantically.
What do you think?
What would you do in my situation?
As always, it would be great to have a woman’s perspective?