Need guidance on how to handle my relationship


Where to begin?
First off I am not a catholic…yet. I am currently Baptist and am being conflicted. I am having a draw to the catholic faith. My girlfriend;however, is catholic, although not always. She was Baptist up to a few years ago (we actually first met in Sunday School at a Baptist church). Due to what I was raised I want to kiss my girlfriend and have that time of expressing my love. My girlfriend on the other hand doesn’t want to until we have a “spiritual foundation” built…whatever that means. I am a virgin and guard that closely. I am saving myself for marriage, but I find it hard to not kiss her and do what I am familar with. I am wanting to not only do what is right but learn the catholic view on the topic. I would appreciate any and all advice. I will continue to pray and discern what He is teaching me. I am sure I will have many more posts in the future as my journey unfolds. Thanks for reading and God bless.


light kissing and other forms of physical affection that are tempered are not sinful, but you need to wait until SHE’S ready


If kissing, just a non-sexual kiss eg on the cheek…any other kissing is really foreplay whether people think of it that way or not.
You need to be honest with yourself. If something you do causes you to risk sexual behaviour before marriage, the maybe you shouldn’t do it.


Please click on the chastity link at the top of the page. Jason Evert will give you a lot of information there that are in keeping with what the Catholic Church believes while at the same time putting into very clear and precise terms. It will well be worth your time to check it out. He also has books available from this site too. May God bless you and guide you.


No means NO ! Bro let it go. Tring to do an end around her values to get your way is low. It doesnt matter what the church says or anyones opinion if she has said No.


Dear brother.
Some Catholics are virgins when they get married,
others have failed in that area and are wounded hearts.
Some choose to be super chaste and only kiss their man or woman
on the wedding day, which is cool, but not everyone can do that.
Some people have failed miserably in chastity and choose to not
get physically close to another person until the wedding day.
I dont know if your girl friend has such a reason or if she is just not
ready to kiss you yet. Or maybe she is just one of those super strong
people who wait with everything, and thats awesome.

Ask her why.



What women say they want and what women want are two different things. That does not mean to not respect her or to force yourself on her. You should study a bit of "Game." Be a leader and a man of integrity.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit