Need help! A troubling thought depressing me


#1

Since yesterday I've been stressed over something. Here's the story:
The other night, when my best friend and i were training (exercise), I noticed that he acted a little wierd about something. I asked him what's wrong, and he tells me that he reckons he has OCD. I told him that sometimes I think I have it as well. He tells me I'm the only person he's revealed this to, which makes me really appreciative because I've been friends with him for a very long time. I always like finding ways to relate to my friends even more, and help out with problems if I could.
After jogging I decided I should go home since I have work in the morning. When we hopped in the car he mentioned he likes listening to this song from Mariah Carey on loop. At first that seemed odd because his songs were more 90s dance and heavy metal. But since I listen to a lot of genres I didn't mind. Then he tells me jokingly "you'd probably think I'm gay because of this". I knew he was joking but I could tell he was worried I'd be judgmental on his taste with music. I said it was ok it's just a song.

But at that moment my mind became overly active. And this is where the problem started. I imagined "what if his apparent OCD makes him think he's gay? And how does that affect me if I might have OCD? if he was gay then am I? If he was then I could and it doesn't matter who thinks what"

As I said my mind was overly active, so I didn't grasp how grave this was until moments after. My mind imagined that waaayy too quick for me to even figure what i was thinking. And since yesterday I've fell into a kind of depression because I felt interiorly that I've damaged my friendship with a thought that, had I grasped it, wouldn't allow in my mind in the first place. I'm even nervous speaking to the person now, because I feel so awkward about this, thinking now my conversations will feel different.

I just simply don't know why my mind could have gone this far. My theory is that I was just imagining how supportive a friend I could be; but I could NEVER go that far as wanting to be gay and I don't want to.

Please pray for me. Is all of this, the thought and depression with it, a trick from the evil one? Or is it pure guilt of a homosexual thought?


#2

These types of thoughts are known as useless thoughts. No point in pondering them, so don’t despair and continue on. :thumbsup:


#3

Do not abandon your friend. Neither of you are gay. A true friend wants to be accepted for who he is and what he likes in music so if he likes Mariah Carey or even Justin Bieber, just accept that. Be a friend and learn about each other and grow in Christ together. Trust him so he trusts you. You are brothers in Christ, and love between brothers is not sexual. Banish such thoughts from your mind.


#4

Whether he are gay or not he is still your friend. I just "Google" OCD and as far as I was able to understand it has nothing to do with being interested in the same sex as the one suffering is. I would not be worrried about that, nor miss a good night's sleep over it. If he really do have OCD I don't think there is more to do then pray for him. He will be on my mind and in my prayers.


#5

[quote="Chabambou, post:1, topic:334381"]
Since yesterday I've been stressed over something.

[/quote]

When your mind has thoughts that pop in out of no where..... dismiss them. To dwell on them is to drive yourself in circles as you indicated.

Your mind may have a habit of how to think in circles and stress over each one and around again.

Dismiss the thoughts and the circle is no longer a circle on continuous ever circling thoughts.

OCD does not indicate anything about sexual orientation. Music enjoyment does not indicate anything about sexual orientation. Having something in common with someone (ex: OCD) does not equal anything about sexual orientation. Based on what you mentioned, your friend is not gay. You are not gay.

Your mind invented a wheel to spin. (Most likely you invent wheels to spin like this a lot.)
Notice when you invent a "wheel to spin" and stop the action.

Based on the wheel you invented..... if we are similar in one area - everything is the same...... all males who exercised at that gym yesterday must be fans of listening to Mariah Carey on loop.

Its not the work of the devil..... its forming a wheel to spin in your thoughts... a habit in your thinking pattern.

My prayer is that you learn to notice patterns formed in your thinking followed by stressing over the ever circling thoughts and begin to break the habit.


#6

[quote="Chabambou, post:1, topic:334381"]
Since yesterday I've been stressed over something. Here's the story:
The other night, when my best friend and i were training (exercise), I noticed that he acted a little wierd about something. I asked him what's wrong, and he tells me that he reckons he has OCD. I told him that sometimes I think I have it as well. He tells me I'm the only person he's revealed this to, which makes me really appreciative because I've been friends with him for a very long time. I always like finding ways to relate to my friends even more, and help out with problems if I could.
After jogging I decided I should go home since I have work in the morning. When we hopped in the car he mentioned he likes listening to this song from Mariah Carey on loop. At first that seemed odd because his songs were more 90s dance and heavy metal. But since I listen to a lot of genres I didn't mind. Then he tells me jokingly "you'd probably think I'm gay because of this". I knew he was joking but I could tell he was worried I'd be judgmental on his taste with music. I said it was ok it's just a song.

But at that moment my mind became overly active. And this is where the problem started. I imagined "what if his apparent OCD makes him think he's gay? And how does that affect me if I might have OCD? if he was gay then am I? If he was then I could and it doesn't matter who thinks what"

As I said my mind was overly active, so I didn't grasp how grave this was until moments after. My mind imagined that waaayy too quick for me to even figure what i was thinking. And since yesterday I've fell into a kind of depression because I felt interiorly that I've damaged my friendship with a thought that, had I grasped it, wouldn't allow in my mind in the first place. I'm even nervous speaking to the person now, because I feel so awkward about this, thinking now my conversations will feel different.

I just simply don't know why my mind could have gone this far. My theory is that I was just imagining how supportive a friend I could be; but I could NEVER go that far as wanting to be gay and I don't want to.

Please pray for me. Is all of this, the thought and depression with it, a trick from the evil one? Or is it pure guilt of a homosexual thought?

[/quote]

Are you sure you aren't the one with OCD? You seem to be obsessing about this way too much.


#7

Thanks for all your replies.

Just wanna clarify that I didnt think my friend was gay, in fact i know he's not, but if he had ever wondered such a thing because of his own self-diagnosis with OCD. And that's when the problem started. Perhaps I was trying to identify with my friend too much? I don't know, pondering on the past seems blurred when you feel anxious about it.

Deep down I think it comes to me being afraid of how and why the thought started. I'm not denying that the thought occurred; it's just I'm not sure iwhether or not i purposely entertained it without realizing how grave it was. If I did so, then what does that mean? Do I have ssa? I hope not because I don't want to be that type of person, especially to my own friend. But if I didn't do so, then is all this stress mentally disordered?

Saw my mate yesterday, and I didn't think about it too much but I felt a bit of stress for other friend related reasons, like keeping conversations up and stuff like that.


#8

Please seek spiritual counsel from your pastor, not random people on the internet. OCD and the related spiritual issues of anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and scrupulosity need professional guidance.


#9

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