I am 25 and have issues with anger and hatred that have really been affecting my life negatively. I feel they are getting worse everyday and I don't want to be like that. Its not me. I feel more and more each day that maybe it is the true me. I never used to be like this. I feel more distant from God and Jesus as time passes. I try and read the bible, but I can't seem to remember anything I read. I am at the point where I need answers and help for me be positive and not be so negative all the time. I feel alone and powerless. I feel my heart has hardened and I need peace in my life. I want to make it to Heaven and I have a lot of anxiety and can't seem to let anything go that upsets me. I bottle it up and when I try and let it out, I don't feel anyone understands my feelings so nothing gets accomplished. I need all the prayers I can get and I hope I can get some answers. Thank you. :confused:
I will certainly pray for you. Maybe you should try talking to your parish priest, he
may be able to help you. Is there something that has made you this angry?
When you read the Bible do you sit in a nice quiet room and read? Try to say the
rosary also, the rosary is very powerful. It may take some time but the Good Lord
knows what you need just keep praying to him. Maybe try and go to confession
and then receive the Eucharist. It is Lent and this is a very special time of the
year to get closer to our Lord. If you ever want to talk to can message me also,
I am always here.
I will be starting a novena for you tonight..:signofcross:
God Bless You.
Thank you for your reply. I think it’s just bottling things up and being mad at life that’s made me this way. It’s not who I really am and I feel no self control. I read the bible in bed at night when it’s quiet. I haven’t gone to church in about 4 or more years. I used to go all the time. The last time I went was when my daughter was baptized. I don’t really have a church or priest anymore. I feel lost and don’t know where to go to church at or who to talk to. Thanks again for your prayers and help!
I once once found by a psychologist to be passive-aggressive. I thought I wasn't letting things bother me, but they would come out in sometimes ugly form later, either by themselves except a little maturity they picked up along the way, or in a group with other things that have built up. Then I would unleash them one way or the other, hopefully not in a way that severs relationships.
A friend of mine got a ticket from a police officer. He was in his car in the summer, a/c on, windows closed, yelling at the car in front of him while sitting at a light, and the cop, sitting behind him, pulled him over and gave him a ticket for, I'm not sure what -- road rage?
Anyway he is now the calmest man I've met. He ran contemplative prayer/Lectio Divina meetings that IMO were instrumental in bringing me back to sanity.
There are three time periods of concern to me: the past, the now, and the future.
The past, even five seconds ago, is past and is no longer accessible for changing. You can change it in your heart by judging it good or bad, but it's entirely up to you. It isn't smoething you need to do, for love keeps no record of wrongs. So to yell about the past is to yell at a stone wall, as far as the chance that yelling will make any changes in the wall. Now if you just want to vent, the wall is a good thing to vent toward, so that nobody gets hurt by it who is near you Now.
Now is the only moment you have, the only moment you know. The past is but a memory, and starts fading as soon as it happens. The future is prediction and imagination, wishful thinking, fearful thinking, and other things like that. We can predict the future, but we cannot control it. We can make plans, but the plans are subject to change. Period. We don't know that we'll draw another 10 breaths of life on this earth, much less whether was can guarantee we'll be at the office by 8 am come hell or high water. So when you live in the moment, you can think of the past to learn from it, you can think of the future, to try to decide what to do now, or to give yourself hope or something. You only have to make one decision at any given time, and one decision only. Everything after that could change drastically in the next five seconds, so be ready for that and don't let it upset you that the change happens; being upset seldom helps to find a healthy response to the change. So the only choice you have to make in the NOW, that processes but then discards the past and gives hope and meaning to the future, is what is my NEXT conscious act going to be? What will my next a) word, b)conscious, focused thought -- or the decision not to focus maybe especially if relaxing -- or c) my next conscious act.
I hope this helps. I'll check back from time to time. Maybe I'll think of something helpful.
Thanks for reading this and for starting the thread, :tiphat:
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Thank you for your reply. I think it's just bottling things up and being mad at life that's made me this way. It's not who I really am and I feel no self control. I read the bible in bed at night when it's quiet. I haven't gone to church in about 4 or more years. I used to go all the time. The last time I went was when my daughter was baptized. I don't really have a church or priest anymore. I feel lost and don't know where to go to church at or who to talk to. Thanks again for your prayers and help!
The best advice I can give you is to go to confession. Find a church nearby that you would feel comfortably going to and either look up confession times, or else set up a separate time with the priest. Spend time examining your conscience and confess any mortal sins you have committed within the last few years. Then bring up your struggles with anger and frustration. The priest can advise you on what to do further. But I strongly encourage you to come back to the Church- we have God in the Eucharist.
You say you are reading the bible at night? That is a good start. Add prayer to it, whether it be simply vocal prayer or having a conversation with God. Tell Him all about your fears, frustrations, difficulties and suffering. If there is a parish with an adoration chapel nearby you, go to it! Pour out everything onto God, and then quietly and humbly listen for Him to respond. How can He heal your bitterness or soothe your frustration unless you talk with Him? Come back to the Church, because that is where He can be found. But you have to make the first step, because God will not force you to come to Him. He is awaiting you like the Father in the Prodigal Son parable, and when He sees you coming 'from a long way off' He will start running to meet you. He just has to catch sight of you coming first.
You are in my prayers!
Thank you Alan and Wild Thing. I appreciate your help and time. I hope this will help me. Feel free to post more help or advice if you want. I will take all the help I can get. Thanks again!