Need Help ASAP Questioning My Dad


How can I go about asking my Dad if he’s up to date on the current rules/teachings of the church of Mass. Tomorrow I’m getting confirmed and he’s coming, he hasn’t been to Mass in probably 30ish years. I just don’t want him to take communion, because I know he’s not in good standing with the church, seeing as how he hasn’t been to confession in so long.I want to ask him, or rather tell him, so he’s not going to do it, but I can’t think of a good way to present the question/info to him without wondering if I would offend him. Please help :frowning:




You should probably just tell him that he is probably unworthy of receiving communion, and if he asks why tell him because he hasn’t been to Mass in so long (which in itself is a sin). If that is too hard write him a well thought out letter, print it out, and hand it to him as early as possible.



I don’t think the Church’s teaching on receiving communion has changed from what it was 30 years ago, so he probably knows he shouldn’t receive communion. Trying to tell him will be pointless. He’ll either respect the Church’s teaching or he won’t. I don’t think it is your job to make him do so.


I disagree - if his own son told him that it would hurt him to see his dad receive his savior unworthily could very well prevent any disrespect to our lord. Also while the rules receiving communion may not have changed he may not remember.



I doubt he would forget something that basic. I might be wrong and if it bothers the son, he should just ask him. But I don’t think the son is obligated to do so.


I’d just ask him if he’s been to confession. When he asks why, remind him he cannot take communion without going to confession first. I think that’s a bit easier than telling him he can’t go to communion flat out.

Bottom line is, you can’t stop him from taking communion if he’s determined to do so. But you can remind him of the rules and laws of the church regarding communion.


it may be a bit late, but it might have helped to ask a few weeks before the ceremony: Dad it means so much to me that you are coming to Mass for my Confirmation. I know you can’t receive communion, but if you do feel moved to go to confession when I go on Saturday, and receive communion with me at my Confirmation Mass, there is no other present I would rather have.




This is great and since it is too late to do this, maybe our OP could say something similar like, Dad I really would like you to be able to go to Communion with me next Sunday, maybe we could go to Confesison together next week. This doesn’t solve the problem of today though.

Unfortionately, many people either don’t remember or never knew the truth. I have a SIL who left the Catholic Faith for a liberal Free Evangelical Lutheran church that believes in “open communion” - that means anyone who wants to can go to communion when they have one of their few Lord’s Supper services. Well, when her Grandmother died (someone she was very close to) she went to the Funeral Mass and presented herself for Communion, the Priest, who knew her rightly refused to give her Communion. She was hurt and angry and used that against me one time when we were visiting but I did turn it around on her and pointed out that as Catholics we do not allow just anyone to receive communion - she left the Church, she chose not to believe what we believe and thus would have been lying to herself and to God, the Priest did her a favor (she didn’t like that and has indeed some hatred towards me about religion). Pray for her.

Poor catechesis is rampant in those my age (49). So many I know are really just learning what we should have learned at our mother’s knee and in school.

Brenda V.


I can use this in a way, thanks for the great suggestion :slight_smile:



You are correct. Every confessor I’ve gone to about this EXACT same issue with my dad (my mom does not recieve the Eucharist because she isn’t worried about “saving face” infront of people she doesn’t know) has told me that my dad, being a Catholic, is well aware of what is and isn’t a sin, he is just choosing to sin. If he didn’t know the Church’s teachings that’d be one thing, but since he went to Catholic grade school, high school, and college and made a point of sending his children to Catholic school (I’m the only one who ended up going from first grade through senior year) he DOES know better and my guess is that the OP’s dad DOES know better too.


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