Need help deciding whether or not to keep part time job


#1

I need some advice on whether or not to keep my part time job. I am a Speech Language Pathologist, and during the day, I work full time in the school setting. It is very busy and demanding, but I honestly enjoy it. About a year and a half ago, I took a part time job at a local hospital, working some evenings and weekends, because they were short of help. I felt like it was my “duty” to help out, since I had the necessary skills they needed, and finding SLPs in our area is very difficult. I also thought that the extra income would help us pay down some bills that we had at that time.

The problem is, my life at home is so busy, with 4 children, their school activities, teaching CCD every week, being a sponsor at RCIA, bringing communion to the homebound once a month, and plus, my husband works evenings, so often the kids are home alone without either of us there. This part time job can be demanding at times, and I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed at times. I’m trying to get rid of the “non essentials” in my life, and this part time job is one of the things on the table.

I have made a list of pros and cons of quitting the job:

Pros of quitting:
-More time at home with kids, taking care of the home, etc.
-Less stress

Cons:
-less money (but not a lot)- bills can still be paid without this extra income
-(my biggest reason) The hospital will have a hard time replacing me. There is a severe shortage of SLPs in this area, and it will be very difficult for them to find someone who is willing to work the hours I did and have the specialized skills that I have in treating dysphagia. Do I have a moral/ethical duty to remain in a job where patients will have to have treatment delayed because of my quitting? This really bothers me.

Thank you for your prayerful and thoughtful answers.


#2

No, you don’t. Your first duty is to your vocation, which is wife and mother. I vote spend more time with the kids and your Church activities. The hospital will just have to cough up a bigger salary to get someone else in. :shrug:
YOU are not responsible for taking care of everyone! I know, as healthcare professionals, we often put that guilt trip on ourselves, and allow ourselves to be worked like dogs until we physically or mentally break down. As a whole, we need to learn how to say “No” for our own sanity.


#3

I agree with Teakafrog that you don’t have a duty to stay in that job. Since you do know that your absence would cause hardship some of the patients, I think it would be good of you to give the hospital as much advance notice as possible if you do decide to leave so that they have more time to find a replacement. But you are under no obligation to stay if it is causing hardship for you and your family.


#4

I agree with what previous posters have said…your primary and first vocation and call is as a wife and mother - that must always come first before any other obligations and duties are secondary totally, and stressing out over an extra obligation and ‘duty’ does not make for a happy and relaxed wife and mom.

People in The Church, meaning priests and nuns who do not have family responsibilities nor vocation to it, hence cannot fully insight the demands, are at times very good at laying on guilt trips/guilt manipulation - ignore it but very nicely so. Also, we can be very good ourselves in laying guilt trips on ourselves.
Because this hospital needs your type of skills, rather than it being a call to you to stress yourself out and meet their need, I agree with what another poster stated, rather it sounds like a call from God to the hospital to pay out a just salary for the help they need elsewhere other than you.
Give up this extra obligation would be my advice, and keep them in prayer.

Blessings and God’s Peace and Joy…Barb:)


#5

Chiming in to agree with other posters. Your primary job is that of wife and mother. It’s not your responsibility to take care of the entire world! Think of it this way - there are very few SLPs with your skills who could do the job you are considering quitting. On the other hand, there is no one else in the entire world who can do your job as a mom.


#6

Absolutely not. Delaying dysphagia treatment might be an added inconvenience for a patient, but this is not life-or-death, assuming that their nutritional needs are being met through a modified diet, enteral feedings or TPN. It is the hospital’s job to find a qualified replacement for you; it is your job to give the hospital adequate notice so they can begin their search, but you have no obligation to stay until your replacement is hired should that prove to be a lengthy process. I am a registered nurse who has worked in the healthcare system for over 30 years, including many years in critical care, so I know first-hand how recruitment of specially-trained staff works. Money talks, and if the hospital is truly in dire straits, they will advertise in the national professional journals and offer a competitive salary and perhaps a sign-on bonus in order to fill your position. They are not as helpless as they might like you to think. Do what is right for you and your family, and do it with a clear conscience. Good luck and God bless!


#7

You can be replaced. The president of the United States can be replaced. The Pope can be replaced. Cities and countries have forged on without their leaders. Everyone on this planet that has ever existed can be replaced at their job…or their place of employment manages to get by without them.

I am saying this to deliberately make you feel **insignificant **beleive it or not! But in a spiritual way not a way to cut you down. It is so hard in this world to envision how something will be able to function without us!

Because there is such a shortage of SLP’s you feel this way. Because of how things are at your job you find it hard to imagine that they will go on without you because of the facts. You are a dedicated and caring woman and this is why you got wrapped up in this way of thinking. You care about your patients and feel like you are abandoning them. But this is not about facts and figures and your specialty and your hours and the shortage of people…this is about beleiving in miracles.

I am speaking from personal experience. I have done charity work for certain things and gotten over-busy. It was getting so out of hand that it was hurting my family and taking time away from them. I was overworking myself and I remember thinking “but I HAVE to do this, it is for my church and no one else can do it!”. Then I stopped in my tracks and I beleive the Holy Spirit spoke to me. God never wants me to hurt my family for another “good”…it’s impossible. I needed to back away, say a prayer, and TRUST that God would take care of my charity for me. Guess what, everything turned out okay. God stepped in when I stepped out! Was it the way I planned…maybe not but I was starting to think that the charity work was MINE and it was not, it was God’s.

Trust, trust, trust. God can work miracles. God can send another therapist…or perhaps the shortage of a therapist will be what it takes for someone else to be motivated by the Holy Spirit and a miracle will happen. Who knows!!! The God that created the universe, the God that gave Elizabeth the miracle of pregnancy in her old age, the God that multiplied the loaves and fishes can certainly send an SLP to help your patients.

I will pray for you. The fact that this hurts you so much is a sign that you are a very loving and Christ-like person. I hope this helps a little, God bless.


#8

Agree with other posters. Your first duty is to your family and to yourself!


#9

Thank you, guys, you have all made wonderful points, and you have make this decision so much easier. You have removed a ton of guilt from my shoulders, and I’m so thankful for that. I’m calling the dept. head tomorrow and discussing this with her.


#10

As long as you give sufficient notice, you’ve done your part.
—KCT


#11

set priorities by examining your duty to God, to your family, and then to your primary employer, in light of your vocation. Don’t take on the burdens of others which don’t belong to you. The hospital’s hiring problem is not yours, they have options, such as recruiting from out of state, paying more to attract good people etc. Your primary employer also has options. Consider one FT job, whichever one you like best, pays best, ie see if hospital would hire you FT if you like that job better. If you don’t want FT work, negotiate the best PT job conditions, hours and pay that you can, and put your own needs and those of your family first.

also rethink your stewardship commitments in light of these priorities as well. Our previous bishop had IMO a very good rule, advising lay people to limit themselves to one ministry in the parish, and one area of service outside the parish (school, charitable org etc.). Choose the one in which you are most effective, which best fits into your life demands, which best uses your gifts, and there is nothing wrong with choosing the one that is most fun and rewarding, ie. working with kids in CCD rather than EMHC if that is your preference.

try to find a path that best addresses several competing needs (time, money, family etc.).


#12

Good move:thumbsup: …will be keeping you in prayer, Mo4…


#13

I going to go against to the tide here and say while family always comes first if you’re providing a service to patients who might otherwise suffer from a shortage of services maybe God has given you two callings. The calling and the ability to help these patients and the calling of wife/mother. If you feel you’re children are getting the short end of the stick and that you’d rather stay home with them more then by all means do so. I would examine your conscience closely and lay it open to GODs will. Is your job solely about the money or do you get spiritual satisfaction from it as well only you can aswer that.


closed #14

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.