Hi everyone… I wanted to share something with you and also ask for some advice. This summer I felt so close to our Blessed Mother. I made the Total Consecration and wanted to pray the Rosary all the time. Sometimes I felt a lot of love for her. But then I got into some debates with people, read some anti-Catholic material online, and began to doubt devotion to Mary… I began to doubt a lot the Church taught about her this was a very difficult time for me. Eventually though I really feel like God lead me back to my faith and I saw that the Church teaches the truth and I was glad to accept it once more. I feel almost like the devil tries to lead me astray sometimes… and sometimes I give in
well since then, my devotion to Mary hasn’t been as strong as before. I know that St Louis de Montfort said that devotion is not measured by feelings, and that regardless of how we feel, we should still love Jesus and Mary. I’ve been trying to. I’ve been praying the Rosary and other prayers… I’ve been asking God to increase my devotion again and help me. I want SO much to be able to live out my Consecration to the fullest. I’ve been reading the Secret of Mary and want to re-read True Devotion again… sometimes I found that parts of it didn’t make sense to me anymore, like they used to… and that made me very sad…
but then yesterday, something happened. I was going through sort of a tough time…I’ve been ill all week, the car broke, I couldn’t get to Mass on Sunday, there were family problems and I committed a pretty major sin that I still feel really guilty about… I can’t wait for Confession on Saturday… anyway, I just didn’t know where to turn. I felt like I was trying to get to God, and to grow spiritually, but it’s like I was trying to cross a stormy sea. I got this image in my mind, like I’m on a little boat and it’s lost in a storm, and I want to cross to the other side where Jesus is. And then, I thought of Mary… and I thought of her just taking me by the hand and walking with me to Him. And with her, it doesn’t matter how big the ‘storm’ is and she (like Jesus) is so loving and merciful even though my soul is filled with sin. That really brought me peace… before what I sometimes felt is her power and majesty, but now it’s more about her kindness. I want to keep on praying the Rosary that my devotion to Mary might increase because I know that’s such a treasure. I think I see again what it means to go through Mary to Jesus.
Do you have any advice or anything to share… God bless