I would focus on how do I give off holiness.
"…the Church, “striving to proclaim the Gospel to all people,”[cf. Ad gentes, 1] has had the single aim of fulfilling her duty of being the messenger of the Good News of Jesus Christ - the Good News proclaimed through two fundamental commands: “Put on the new self” [Cf. [size=]Eph 4:24, 2:15; Col 3:10; Gal 3:27; Rom 13:14; 2 Cor 5:17] and "Be reconciled to God."2 Cor 5:20] (Pope Paul VI; Evangelii Nuntiandi, 2)
You could start with a short prayer, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, lead me and guide me” and grow to the extent of becoming a more complete disciple. One who is always will to be taught. This disposition of docility with humility, which is indeed a struggle, will bear fruit universally. Frequent reading of the Word of God, which is counsel by and for the Church toward the good direction of understanding. “If you will not believe, you shall not continue.” (Isa 7:9) In the other translations is says “…you shall not understand” or "…you shall not be established.
God Bless you. Don’t ever feel isolated in this forum, please contact me privately if you so wish.