Need help with marital courtship ideas


My wife & I practice NFP. Lately, I’ve been becoming a little bit too frisky while avoiding pregnancy. Please offer suggestions on how I can replace the near occassion of sin with marital courtship. What can I do to please my wife without being so attracted to her physically that I find myself physically flirting on the borderline of mortal sin?

Thank you!


Give her a massage? I don’t know if that leads to temptation on your behalf any further or not, but it is a nice way to be close, but not too close. It is really pleasing too :slight_smile: So are foot rubs if you can handle them. Feet have something like 7500 nerve endings.

If touching is off limits, maybe a nice run or walk together? Or doing something she really likes. My DH loves exercise so doing a sport or going for a hike with him really connects us.


What does she enjoy? Nice dinners? Movies? Family bike rides?
Sometimes it’s simple stuff like planning a family outing that can help occupy your time and thoughts, and work in a “marital courtship” way as well! Things that would mean something to her. :slight_smile:

No specific suggestions… only you know what she enjoys doing!


I agree with EM… I love picnics, walks by the lake, family outings help because the kids are there…


What did you do for fun when you were dating? Did you go to movies or museums, did you read books and have firey political discussions? Did you play video games?


Mannn! I wish my husband would ask that question!!! He and I have practiced NFP for a while now, but still find it tempting to not abstain when we have talked about abstaining. In regards to it being a mortal sin if you do not manage to abstain, I do not believe it is so. Sure, you and your wife obviously broke your agreement to abstain, but you are married adults, and in the eyes of the church, it is not a sin to have marital relations, even if you were working at abstaining for various reasons. That’s my thought.

As for ideas on things to do with your wife, I would suggest the following:
Private dinner, then dancing afterwards, (kids in bed)
Read the bible together with lit candles (very romantic and non-threatening)
Good relationship-building time where you can go over those books that ask a bazillion and one questions that you adn your wife can then discuss.
Exercise together
Watch a movie with popcorn/chocolate :slight_smile:
Write each other poems
Go to karaoke if you like that thing
Take a retreat together
Go to the park
say a prayer over each other before bed, to strengthen and build your relationship during this time of abstinence

God bless!

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