Need Help With Prayers to Mary


Ok, so I’m working my way back into the church after being a protestant for a few years (and having grown up protestant) and I’ve been praying the Rosary. My problem is that in my rosary booklet, the meditation on the crowning of the Blessed Virgin speaks of giving oneself completely to Mary. I am slightly uncomfortable with this as I was of the understanding that we should give ourselves completely to Jesus. Is it possible to do both? Please help me understand this and please pray for my conversion. I feel a huge struggle.



Hi, Stephanie, and welcome back home. :slight_smile: It’s absolutely possible to do both, for in giving ourselves to Mary we give ourselves as images of her Son - her Son Who chose and entrusted Himself to her. She is our perfect model of fidelity to Him.

A favorite prayer of mine to her illustrates her closeness to Jesus and to all who are joined to Him:

“O Mary, my Mother, how greatly I love thee and yet how little is my love. Thou teachest me all that is necessary for me to know because thou teachest me what Jesus is for me and what I ought to be for Jesus.”


Yes it is possible, because they are not in competition but are working on the same team. It’s like the booklet is saying to give yourself totally to your mother – you wouldn’t draw back and say, “But I thought I was supposed to give myself to my father?” Of course you are, but you are to give yourself wholly to both! You are 100% God’s child, 100% Christ’s brother, and 100% Mary’s daughter, and you should give yourself whole-heartedly to all of that, for it is all part of the Christian being. You are 100% connected to every member of the Body of Christ in unique ways; in Mary, she happens to be as your mother in the order of grace. Accepting this love and returning it in love is not unbiblical; it is the most biblical thing of all.

I hope that helps. God bless!


Hi, we can give ourselves to Mary for the purpose of belonging even more fully to Jesus. If we give ourselves to her, she will only give us perfectly to her Son, and He is the end of this devotion… :slight_smile:

but try to take it one step at a time with this :slight_smile:

devotion to Mary doesn’t always come right away… I converted from Protestantism too and it was difficult for me as well.

what you’re describing is a particular devotion, and it’s not necessary to practice it in order to be Catholic - though it helps many people a lot :thumbsup:

God bless!!


I’m not sure I understand the idea of needing Mary to lead us to Jesus. Can’t we go straight to him? It seems like a bit of a bait and switch. Here’s Jesus, but you need to lateral before you can go forward?


No, it’s more like here’s Jesus and we are going to Him. . .now, we can either go to him on a nice easy path and through the gate (Mary) or we can try to clamber over a 500 foot glass wall, go through a hedge of poison thorns, wander around and maybe wind up coming to him through the ‘back yard’ years later. . .

Mary is the easiest way to Jesus because she is the way that Jesus came TO us. God could have chosen all kinds of ways to bring Jesus to us but He chose Mary. And God doesn’t change. It wasn’t a "here He is, now forget that she brought Him to you and act as though she doesn’t exist’. Her importance of course IS that she is HIS mother, so in the end it all goes back to God.

It is hard because so often we feel that things are ‘either/or’ when they’re not. It’s never “go to Mary OR Jesus.” It’s 'go to Jesus through Mary because that is the quickest, easiest, God-given best way. In fact, it IS the ‘direct way’ to Jesus. Mary is never an impediment, she’s like the gate in the wall or the knob on the door. Sure you can ‘get into’ something by bypassing the gate or the knob, but it’s a lot harder. And Jesus is the ultimate goal. We don’t ‘stop at’ the gate (Mary), we go through the gate directly to Jesus. I hope that helps. . .


Hi linusmom :slight_smile:

Of course if you want you can go straight to Jesus! Total Marian devotion is not a prerequisite for the Catholic faith, you just need to believe in the dogmas by the Catholic Church on the Blessed Virgin Mary.

However, there is a caveat. You will find (as so many Catholics have) that when you totally devote yourself to Jesus Christ, you will inevitably be drawn to our Blessed Virgin Mother. You will find that it is impossible to NOT love and devote yourself to Mama Mary when you devote yourself to Jesus:

  1. Here I turn to you for a moment, dear Jesus, to complain lovingly to your divine Majesty that the majority of Christians, and even some of the most learned among them, do not recognise the necessary bond that unites you and your Blessed Mother. Lord, you are always with Mary and Mary is always with you. She can never be without you because then she would cease to be what she is. She is so completely transformed into you by grace that she no longer lives, she no longer exists, because you alone, dear Jesus, live and reign in her more perfectly than in all the angels and saints. If we only knew the glory and the love given to you by this wonderful creature, our feelings for you and for her would be far different from those we have now. So intimately is she united to you that it would be easier to separate light from the sun, and heat from the fire. I go further, it would even be easier to separate all the angels and saints from you than Mary; for she loves you ardently, and glorifies you more perfectly than all your other creatures put together.

  1. But where is my pen leading me? Why am I wasting my time proving something so obvious? If people are unwilling to call themselves slaves of Mary, what does it matter? **Let them become and call themselves slaves of Jesus Christ, for this is the same as being slaves of Mary, since Jesus is the fruit and glory of Mary. **

Source: , Chapter 2, Paragraphs 63 and 77True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin


I know it can be confusing… I was confused too but then one day it made sense.

see the way we come to God, it’s often so full of imperfection… but if we go through Mary, she can show us a better, easier way. Also, when we go through her to Jesus, it makes sense cause that’s the way He came down to us :slight_smile:

it doesn’t make her another “mediator” apart from Christ, cause she’s not a “mediator between the Father and us for our salvation”… rather, she shares in Christ’s one mediation. that’s what Mediatrix of graces means.

I know it might be a lot to take in… I suggest to pray about it :slight_smile:

what Our Lady can do, is she can lead us more surely to God than we can lead ourselves. God gave her to us as our Mother. :slight_smile: she cares for us and loves us. It’s really simple if we learn to love her first… many people have experienced this, that a relationship with Mary enhances our relationship with Christ. Mary and Jesus are not in competition…

God bless


YES :thumbsup: I completely agree. Great post.


Mary is Jesus’ mother, right? Do you know of any mother that would prefer to “do her own thing” rather than talk about and take you to her son? We’re so proud of our children that it’s hard to talk about anything else! And we live only on earth and don’t have the smallest part of the Graces that she has! She gave her assent to God - and I, for one, don’t believe that was a half-way, grudging assent.
Plus, Jesus was a good Jewish boy who was more aware of the 4th Commandment than we’ll ever be. He loves our devotion to His mother and certainly isn’t going to begrudge that devotion! God trusted her with His Son. Shouldn’t we?


My dear friend
Welcome home and I’ll pray for you. I used to be in the Legion of Mary and our motto was to Jesus through Mary. When we give ourelves and everything to Mary She perfects it and offers it to Jesus. It’s just a way of making a more perfect offering of all to God. Whenever we go to Mary She always takes us to Her Son. At times we need a mother and we turn to Mary at other times we feel drawn to our Guardian Angels, then the Holy Spirit, a Saint and so on. It is all the work of God and all pleasing to Him. Just go where the Holy Spirit leads you in this area. Go to Jesus if you want. Later you’ll probably understand Mary and feel drawn that way.

God bless you:thumbsup::slight_smile:



Marian devotion is increasingly making sense to me lately. I think of it as follows: I give myself to Mary so that she will come and live in me, so that she will take over my soul and love Jesus in her perfect way, instead of me trying to love Jesus in my very imperfect way. What happens is that I completely get out of the way! I just let Mary and Jesus love each other deeply and perfectly within my soul; and I reap all the benefits of their love! This is so much better than me trying to improve myself with my own efforts and to love Jesus with so much failure.

In the end, I hope that by giving myself to Mary, I will become like Mary, who loves Jesus perfectly and is loved by Jesus without reserve.

Hope that helps!


I think I understand what you’re saying here, but aren’t you assuming that it’s easy to find Mary but difficult to find Jesus? How can that be? Why would it be easier to go to Mary to be led to Jesus than it would be to go to Jesus?


Oh, no, it’s not that Jesus is more ‘difficult’; but when you go into a garden, you usually go through a gate rather than over the wall. Mary is the gate --she isn’t the garden. That’s why when I say she is the easiest way to Jesus it means that we aren’t going to her because THAT is easier than ‘going to Jesus’. It means that IN going to Jesus, in going to Jesus in the most easy and direct way, we go through Mary. She’s right there beside Him, pointing the way.

If I’m going from New York to Philly say, suppose that of the many routes that will get me DIRECTLY there, one way (let’s say Trenton) will always get me there quickest, safest, etc. So I would try to always go through Trenton even though the ultimate destination of Philly could be reached if I went through other cities. . .even if I took a boat and traveled east and went around the world, ultimately I could wind up in Philly–but Trenton is the ‘easiest’ way.

Jesus is the destination, not Mary. Jesus is the one we are seeking directly and the way we find Him best happens to be through Mary. It’s the way He chose Himself. . .(having chosen to come to us through her from the start).

Even if we could somehow get ourselves from Philly to New York absolutely directly (like blinking from one place to the other via the Star Trek Transporter, say), we STILL have to go to the transporter BEFORE we get from one place to the other, right? But we wouldn’t cavil and say, “I just want to go directly to one city, I don’t want to have to go to the transporter”! (unless of course if you’re like McCoy and don’t want your molecules scrambled, you would take a shuttle or something.)


it’s not that it’s difficult to go to Jesus, but that the way in which we often come to Him is so full of imperfection… if we come to Mary first, she can remove that imperfection and help us approach Him perfectly :slight_smile: Jesus came to us through Mary, so we can also go to Him through her. Jesus is still the one Mediator between us and the Father… Mary does not stand between the human race and the Father, but rather leads us closer to Jesus, who in turn leads us to the Father… hope that makes sense.

btw… I read this analogy in a booklet about True Devotion to Mary: let’s say there’s a father who has four children; two daughters and two sons… and he gave them a garden as their inheritance. In this garden, he planted a beautiful vine and told them to take care of it. The first son thought it’s too difficult and neglected his work, and spent all this time having fun and resting… the older daughter tried to do her work, but got tired, and gave up also… the younger son spent all his time caring for the vine and he did a great job, but always felt exhausted and had no time for anything else. The younger daughter saw that she can’t do the work on her own, and felt sad that she is spending all her time in the garden and not with her father… so she came to him and asked for his help… and he built a greenhouse over her part of the garden, so the vine grew with no so much effort on her part. So she used that time to be with her father. …the garden symbolizes our souls, the father is God, and the vine is Jesus… the older son represents those who live without God and don’t try at all to overcome sin. (the work in the ‘garden’ is difficult because of all the sins and flaws we have.) The older daughter represents those who try hard at first but then feel overwhelmed and give up… the younger son represents good Christians who try to follow God, but they try SOO hard and get tired easily…they don’t have very much time to just ‘be’ with God, so they get discouraged and their devotion is more external than internal. The younger daughter, however, represents those who are like little children before God…and rely on His grace… and those who allow Mary to lead them to God. She is the ‘greenhouse’. She takes them by the hand and leads them to Jesus, safely and easily and securely… so we don’t have to go through all those hardships and troubles to be sanctified. We still have to bear crosses but she helps us and we’re able to rejoice more in suffering.

…we can either come to Jesus directly, or, we can take the hand of His Mother and she will walk with us to Him… and the way with Mary is not only more secure, but she also teaches us how to love Him better and perfects our weak little efforts to reach Him :slight_smile:

God bless


Ok, so I still don’t get it. Who leads me to Mary? Why is it so easy to get to HER to have HER lead me to Jesus?


aw Linusmom don’t worry about this so much :hug1: It took me months to accept the Immaculate Conception when I was looking into Catholicism… I wasn’t ready for these ideas we’re discussing for a looooong time… and somehow, God made me ready, but I don’t know how!! If it doesn’t make sense, it just means that perhaps it’s not the time yet. There’s always more to learn about the faith and there are so many mysteries we don’t yet know :slight_smile: trying to understand Catholicism is a lifelong journey… no matter where you are…

I might be wrong but I get the impression that you’re trying to understand this more with your mind… but I think that in order to understand devotion to Mary, you need to approach it more with your heart, and be like a little child with her. The more we grow to love Mary and relate to her as our Mother, the more devotion to her makes sense :slight_smile: the intellectual understanding comes later… I’ll tell you the story of how I “got” it… one day I read about the Total Consecration and De Montfort and it seemed heretical to me and I couldn’t accept it… and in the evening, I was just praying the Hail Mary very slowly (I was actually listening to a recording of the Hail Mary song and praying along in Latin) and suddenly I felt so close to her, and understood how she’s so full of God’s grace and love and goodness. And ever since then, it’s made sense to me more. (no doubt I have more to learn though)

to answer your question, we ourselves come to Jesus and to Mary through our choice… (lead by the Holy Spirit :)) but in order to grow in holiness and be sanctified, there are SO much growth we need to go through first. But to come to Mary, we just need to WANT to, that’s it… so if we want to, and if we ask her, she will show us an easier way to holiness :slight_smile: so she will lead us right to the Heart of her Son.

God bless


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