First of all, I am not a native speaker, so if I make some mistakes, please forgive my Bad English. :rolleyes::(:rolleyes:
I’m a guy who grow up full of hope in my own skills and potencial. People used to encourage me even more, when they said that not only I was a nice person but also a smart and funny people. Mom and Dad raise me as Catholic child but when i became 12-13 years old, I left Church and I didn’t belive in God. Thankfully, my Mom is a person with a lot of faith and she keep praying for my conversation until three years ago when I start beliving again in Jesus.
But, right now, I feel lost and hopeless. All my previous hopes and dreams seems to me illusions and I don’t know where is my place in this crazy world. I realized that I am not that smart and funny as I thought I was, lost almost all my friends, Dad died this year. I don’t see any good future for my me - I have a lot of crazy suicidial thoughts and I’m starting to realize that maybe I need to leave college because I don’t think that I finish my course.
I love God, but my faith is a yo-yo. Sometimes I trust complety in God, but most of the time I’m depressive, without any hope - and worst: I blame God for my life but the truth is that I’m the only one to blame. I’m ugly, weak and dumb and a start to see all the people surprass me to the point that I start to envy most of the people that I know because of their acheviements.