Thank you for your responses. I actually have a stronger backbone than what is implied, Island Oak. I have not had any contact with her until fairly recently when my DH came home on R&R and she demanded an answer as to whether or not the girls would be in her wedding. As a couple, my DH and I were still discussing it. Otherwise, I have ZERO contact with his family, for the very reason Princess Abby gave.
RC1960- I know what I married into, however when we got married, his family stayed out of our business (believe it or not). It wasn’t until we had to send out the “witness” forms for my DH’s Dispensation of Cult (which HAD to go to at least one family memeber on either side) that the remarks started to come. Then they got worse when we Baptised our first DD. Then it was an all out assault when they realized I wasn’t backing out of the Church. So yes, I knew them before marrying, but wasn’t aware of their anti-Catholicism. (to clear matters, I wasn’t a practicing Catholic but they knew when they asked what religion I was, I still answered Catholic) Had I picked any other Protestant sect of Christianity, they wouldn’t have a problem. My husband has also shown on numerous occassions that he’d rather not “rock the boat” and tries to appease both sides. So that’s something that he’s been working on for the better part of three months now and this tirade from his sister is the result of an email from him to her telling her she needs to mind her p’s and q’s when it comes to his family. (BTW, he is working on coming into the Church, so it’s been baby steps for him in dealing with his family- kwim?) So at the time of my writing the post, I had a legitimate concern that he wouldn’t stand up the way he needed to.
However, I was able to actually speak with my DH for three hours yesterday because his sister wrote him back. In short, and in not so many words, she attempted to make him see her “side of the story”, claimed I twisted the story, and she apologized that I have only given him “half truths”. She thought it necessary to try to cast doubt in my DH’s eyes about me and how I’ve handled certain situations. For example, I told my 6 yr old she wasn’t allowed to have a sleep over with an 8 yr old boy that I don’t know, don’t know the parents and uh… anyone else notice that it’s a boy and my SIL told my DH that I “blew my top” and told my child it’s inappropriate although she thinks it’s ok. (I know… .it’s stupid, but this is just an example of her trying to cast doubt, kwim?)
We were able to discuss all this and I told him that I will write the letter back to her seeing how the letter to him was about me. He was able to give me the confidence that he’d stand beside me with what I was to write, and at the end of the email, I wrote that the girls and I would not be attending the wedding.
So now she knows that there is no discussing the situation, my mind is made up and I won’t put my children at risk.
Obviously, with all the people that have looked at this thread and not responded with a post, I sincerely appreciate all the prayers. They have helped me to kind of remain calm and to write a pretty decent letter that was more full of Christian love than I could muster yesterday. So THANK YOU!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.