Need prayers to cross the Tiber!


#1

hi,

my story in a nutshell: born and raised protestant (Nazarene), surrounded by protestant friends and family, and an anti-Catholic wife, BUT i’ve been studying the faith for the past 6 years…and i think it is TRUE! :slight_smile:

i was in RCIA until my wife said she would leave me (or at least make my life hell!) 2 years ago, but i can’t hardly bear to go to my protestant church anymore, because i - charitably - debate everybody there…including the pastoral staff! please pray that i will have the courage to tell my wife that i gotta do what i believe God wants me to do.

thank you

in Christ,

tad


#2

I’ll pray for you…God Bless you on your journey.


#3

[quote=jaytadly]hi,

my story in a nutshell: born and raised protestant (Nazarene), surrounded by protestant friends and family, and an anti-Catholic wife, BUT i’ve been studying the faith for the past 6 years…and i think it is TRUE! :slight_smile:

i was in RCIA until my wife said she would leave me (or at least make my life hell!) 2 years ago, but i can’t hardly bear to go to my protestant church anymore, because i - charitably - debate everybody there…including the pastoral staff! please pray that i will have the courage to tell my wife that i gotta do what i believe God wants me to do.

thank you

in Christ,

tad
[/quote]

Although the Coming Home Network aims its ministry largely at clergy who are converting to the Catholic faith, they also deal with laymen and have a lot of resources that would be useful to you. Your situation is, unfortunately, very common.

chnetwork.org/


#4

Tad
My family already prays for the souls who are on the journey you are. I realize that it is difficult. I have some advice if you recieve EWTN on your cable network watch the program the Journey Home on Monday night at 8:00pm. It is always the story of people who have made your journey. This past Monday was a former Babtist minister who’s wife would not make the journey with him. He knew that he must become Catholic because he believed it was true and to not follow through would be a sin against Jesus. There is a way to listen to the program over the internet at the EWTN.com. It will reair on Saturday night at 11:00pm. Marcus Grodi is the host and the founder of The Journey Home Network. There are many people who will help you and your wife.
I will continue to pray for you.


#5

[quote=jaytadly]hi,

my story in a nutshell: born and raised protestant (Nazarene), surrounded by protestant friends and family, and an anti-Catholic wife, BUT i’ve been studying the faith for the past 6 years…and i think it is TRUE! :slight_smile:

i was in RCIA until my wife said she would leave me (or at least make my life hell!) 2 years ago, but i can’t hardly bear to go to my protestant church anymore, because i - charitably - debate everybody there…including the pastoral staff! please pray that i will have the courage to tell my wife that i gotta do what i believe God wants me to do.

thank you

in Christ,

tad
[/quote]

Will definitely add you to my prayer list.


#6

Jay were you married in a denomination church?


#7

HI Tad-
Many prayers to you, and welcome to the forums. Hopefully they will help you along your journey.


#8

Welcome to the board and to the journey, Tad! :smiley:

It is hard when one spouse “gets it” and the other one doesn’t. Do all you can to allay her fears about Catholicism. Reassure her that you are not giving up faith in Christ, but rather are deepening it. Let her know that by becoming a Catholic you are building on all you’ve been taught. You might want to explain that it isn’t enough anymore since you have found the “fullness of the truth” in the Catholic Church or words to that effect. Don’t expect her to understand, at first, but be a witness before her of a good Catholic gentleman and, hopefully, she will not leave you but see that you have become a better person for embracing the Church. And, of course, pray for her. I too will keep you and your situation in my prayers.


#9

thanks everybody!

you guys are quick, and sure made me feel at home. that’s one thing about the Catholic Church that i LOVE - the sense of BEING HOME! i could go on and on about that one, even in my lonliest of times, but just wanted to thank you all for your kind notes.

since i’m new to this type of forum, i’ll probably have a few dumb technical questions…like: it appears that i can’t reply to indivudual posts, so hopefully you’ll read this one…

take care, family!

in Christ,

tad


#10

quick note:

thanks for the heads up re: the Coming Home Network. our town doesn’ t have EWTN on the cable system here, but i have checked it out on the web before, and have heard Grodi’s (and MANY other awesome radio shows) on our local Catholic radio station (KBVM, Portland). of course, my FAVORITE show is “Catholic Answers Live” from which i have learned a ton over the past 5 years. i listen to it right after The Bible Answerman airs on another station just before CAL. Fun to hear the similarities and contrasts between the shows! :thumbsup:

also, to Fox regarding the question of where i was married: yes, we were married in a protestant church, and it was “sacramental” as far as i know…but i would not even consider an anulment if that was why you were asking :slight_smile:

in Christ,

tad


#11

[quote=jaytadly]hi,

my story in a nutshell: born and raised protestant (Nazarene), surrounded by protestant friends and family, and an anti-Catholic wife, BUT i’ve been studying the faith for the past 6 years…and i think it is TRUE! :slight_smile:

i was in RCIA until my wife said she would leave me (or at least make my life hell!) 2 years ago, but i can’t hardly bear to go to my protestant church anymore, because i - charitably - debate everybody there…including the pastoral staff! please pray that i will have the courage to tell my wife that i gotta do what i believe God wants me to do.

thank you

in Christ,

tad
[/quote]

Prayers sent.

How long has your wife known about this? What is her main hang up? (I assume that you two have discussed this at length…?)

It may take a while for your wife, or she may never come around, but always strive towards faithfulness to Christ.

(Read 1 Cor. 7:10-16)

10 To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband) --and that the husband should not divorce his wife. 12 To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace. 16 Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?


#12

…we were married in a protestant church, and it was “sacramental” as far as i know…but i would not even consider an anulment if that was why you were asking

in Christ,

tad

If you were both Protestants then the Church considers your marriage valid. If at some time in the future your wife enters the Church, too, you can always renew your vows if you want to, but I don’t think you would have to have it convalidated. But, to be sure you can always ask your priest.


#13

Wow, that’s a tough journey you’re on! And I’m happy for you, that you have finally found the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church! I hope things will get better between your wife soon. In the meantime, let’s storm the heavens with prayers!:wink:


#14

I could be wrong on this, and especially since I do not know your situation with any personal knowledge, then please feel free to disregard my thought. But I somehow do not think that your wife is going to leave you if you become a Roman Catholic.

I think that what is happening here is that your wife feels that by going to the Roman Catholic Church, you are somehow rejecting her. The church in her mind becomes “the other woman,” which in turn leaves your wife feeling vulnerable. If not this, or in combination with the former, your wife may also feel that you are dismissing something that you mutually shared.

The most important thing is to make clear and say again and again that your pending embrace of the Roman Catholic faith is not a rejection of her or what you have shared. By your life and example, she will soon see what a positive thing the church is in your life. And just as a woman cannot help but “check out” the other woman, your wife will want to stay with you, if only to see what the Catholic Church has that could have attracted you to it in the first place.

God bless you, and may he continue to guide you towards his Truth.


#15

Tad, you mention that your wife is anti-Catholic. How did that happen? Just growing up breathing in the atmosphere (that’s how I was).


#16

Be at peace! Ask God for his peace. When you are anxious its hard to stay connected to Him, so jealously guard your peace as if it were a tabernacle surrounding the only place where you can be with God.

I was in your boat too. Anti-Catholic husband and all my friends and family Protestant. And I was very attached to my Baptist Church community. And I had much anxiety, too, as I was about to take that step. But I took it, and it was amazing how even the manifestations of my worst fears surrounding conversion seem as nothing - seemed EASY - compared to the joy and peace of being home in the Catholic Church!

I called Coming Home Network who set me up with mentors who “held my hand” (via phone and email) when I made that “crossing”. I don’t know how I could have made it without them.

Talking to Protestants about your faith can be a minefield at times so you have take care to know who you are talking to. The lesson I learned is to remember two things in these encounters: Listen more than you talk, and ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words to say.

It would be good to find a good Priest to talk to about how to love your wife through what will be a very difficult thing for her. I highly reccommend Lynn Nordhagen’s book, If Only One Converts. It will make you feel not so alone in this, and give you practical guidance too.

I will pray for you!


#17

I’m sure you would be heartened by Scott and Kimberly Hahn’s story. There is no guarantee your wife will come around, but your first obligation is to God, not your wife. Stay true to her, but not at the expense of staying in a faith you know does not teach the fullness of the truth.
Not very practical advice above, but above all persevere in prayer. God has you and your wife in the palm of his hand.


#18

you hit the nail on the head! she had even said so much as what you said in the past. when i was leaving RCIA 2 years ago, she said she felt betrayed, like i was “with another woman”. i see now this has given me a revelation - apparently, my relationship with my wife was much stronger and more visible than my marriage to Christ. for this, i repent every day, and try to turn it around so that my relationship with Christ is truly first in my life, with my earthly wife coming in a very close second! :thumbsup:

also, she goes back to our wedding ceremony 20 years ago to say that i got married in a protestant church (nazarene, specifically), made my vows in a protestant church so, in effect, i was also pledging to remain a protestant (though nothing similar to that effect was in our vows, other than a pledge to God). ironically, we left the Nazarene denomination mainly because my wife wasn’t “comfortable” with it any longer. so it seems odd now that she would generalize our wedding vows to be “protestant” rather than the more specific “nazarene” nor the more general “Christian”, as that last one would certainly open the door to Catholicism.

anyway, just thought i would share that and maybe it will help someone else reading here as well. thanks for your advice!

in Christ,

tad


#19

tad-

one big thing to keep in mind is that she will probably not initially be convinced by hardcore apologetical arguments.

“they will know us by our love”

you have time together, so i would say just let the calm and peace of Christ’s Body and Blood allow you to be a witness to her.

just keep going to mass, be loving, and patient, and if she doesn’t come around, then she wouldn’t come around anyway, even with arguing. better peace in the household than argument.
and use the green scapular!


#20

[quote=jaytadly]hi,

my story in a nutshell: born and raised protestant (Nazarene), surrounded by protestant friends and family, and an anti-Catholic wife, BUT i’ve been studying the faith for the past 6 years…and i think it is TRUE! :slight_smile:

i was in RCIA until my wife said she would leave me (or at least make my life hell!) 2 years ago, but i can’t hardly bear to go to my protestant church anymore, because i - charitably - debate everybody there…including the pastoral staff! please pray that i will have the courage to tell my wife that i gotta do what i believe God wants me to do.

thank you

in Christ,

tad
[/quote]

i have been “Catholic” all my life (48 years). I put the word “Catholic” in quotes because i have not always been, objectively speaking, a good, practicing Catholic. One reason was that i was never taught waht the Church really teaches, which was not my fault. My spiritual journey has run the gamut - i was a Sunday Catholic while growing up. Then i had what the Protestants call a born-again experience at the age of 15. I fell in love with Jesus and read the New Testament all the way through a couple of times. But at around the age of 17, some “weird” things happened, some of which i have yet to fully comprehend, and i began to (reluctantly) fall away from my close relationship with Jesus. To make a long, long story short - i almost lost my soul. My mother and i had problems in my teen years so i stayed away from “home”, got involved wtih some very wrong people, almost lost my life as well (big long story). I stayed away from God because i figured He was angry with me and that i wasn’t good enough for Him. Something bad then happened that convinced me even more that this was true. I began to feel life wasn’t wroth living (and without a close relationship with the Lord, it isn’t). When my life hit rock bottom, i started praying the rosary, even though i didn’t believe in it one bit and also, strangely, i did not feel one bit like praying it. I don’t usually do things i totally don’t feel like doing… I guess the Holy Spirit intervened (more or less against my will - or at least my feelings…). Anyway, my circumstances got worse after that, but i, myself, began to get better, spiritually and mentally. Satan attacked me like you wouldn’t believe (another long story). But something told me to keep praying and i did. The devil continued to attack me, etc… Years ago, i went to a “non-denominational” 12-step meeting where most of the members were ex-Catholics. One of them had been divorced and re-married a couple times and always made snide remarks about the Catholic religion, one time going so far as to imply it is a cult. I got really irritated because i knew that it was a Catholic “thing” (the rosary) that had saved me from literal hell on earth. She made me angry enough that i was inspired to study my Faith. But something (?) told me that in choosing to study it, i would uncover some unpleasant stuff along the way - if i delved too deeply. And you know what - i DID! But to explain waht i mean by that is one of my longest stories of all. In any case, what i learned blew me away and in spite of the “unpleasant” stuff i encountered in my Catholic journey, i am glad i studied it (i almost got cold feet and didn’t). I would like to talk to you about the “unpleasant” stuff because maybe you will (or have) encounter(ed) it???.. but this message is already pretty long so i’ll let you go. I will keep your wife in my prayers. I would like to know her side of things, even though i think she should allow you to follow your conscience.
God bless you for following truth


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