Need some advice from Catholics familiar with the teachings of the Church and perhaps can give me some resources on this. I already went to my priest but I was a little bit shocked by what he was telling me and I am having trouble accepting it. My wife had an ectopic pregnancy which implanted in her fallopian tube. The baby had died while in there and her fallopian tube ruptured and she had internal bleeding (Thank God she is okay). They had to do emergency surgery and remove the fallopian tube. Her doctor is not a pro life doctor and has been trying to advise her to use birth control since forever, which we have always denied. My wife is not Catholic, she has no religion (agnostic). She has been pregnant four times and has lost two of those (one was a blighted ovum and now this). The doctor is concerned that this could happen again and she only has one fallopian tube remaining so if it does happen again, she will lose her other fallopian tube and will never be able to be pregnant again. He is concerned that my wife may be prone to these types of problems. I am aware of the teachings of the Church on contraception and birth control pills. Birth control pills being possible abortifacients and carcinogens.
I spoke to my priest about all of this and told him that the Doctor is concerned for the life of my wife and of course the fact that she may lose her other fallopian tube and I told him what the doctor advised. I told him that I told the doctor we couldn’t do that because of the Catholic teaching. My priest (who is normally rather conservative) advised us that we should in fact use contraception. This is what confused me. He wasn’t sure if all birth control pills were even abortifacients (although he was willing to accept maybe they are) but he proposed then just other forms of contraception like condoms or something. He wasn’t saying that it was always okay to use these methods. He said he would never advise using contraception normally but in our case he was saying that the danger to my wife is enough to warrant using it. He said that it would be a lesser evil then potentially my wife dying or losing the ability to have children. He talked about the Pharisees being too much about the law and that Jesus comes to us where we are and understands our struggles and wouldn’t condemn us for this. He said I “Surrender too much of my will (or thinking) to the Church”. He told me I need to, with a formed conscience, make a decision on this after talking to my wife and considering the facts. He told me even if my decision was contrary to the teachings of the church, but it was going with my “formed conscience” then I needed to go with my “formed conscience”. This is very confusing so I need more advice on this.