Need some advice...

DH and I are in a bit of a predicament…

Background: We live in a bad neighbourhood. The third day that we lived in this apartment, a police officer came to the door to tell us that there had been a rape that night and that the rapist is still out there so lock the doors, here’s a number to reach us etc. That scared me. Not only that, there are drug dealers that live across the hall from us. We don’t call the cops because they would know it was us and there are a lot of people who know what we look like (from coming and going etc.). This of course scares us as well. This morning we went to get a coffee and there were 5 cruisers and a police van and probably about 12 cops all out front with about 6 people in handcuffs (in there late teens early 20’s). Apparently a week ago they broke into an apartment down the hall from us and beat the man that lived there (this happened outside the building) He was found unconcious and taken to the hospital and woke up yesterday to tell his story. Anyway, the kids that beat him, took his keys and have been living in the apartment ever since. Apparently this happens a lot. We’ve had our car windows smashed in and stuff stolen. We’ve heard gunshots and screaming in the middle of the night. We’re just so sick of living scared. I’m home alone a lot due to DH work schedule. I sleep with a very large knife.

Here’s the problem. We can’t afford to live anywhere else. We’ve tried living in a nicer neighbourhood but we were going further into debt just paying the rent. This is all we can afford right now. All the buildings in this area are the same. What do we do? I hate living here but we don’t have enough money…

What would you do in this situation? If we had children I would be out of here in an instant but its just us. We can’t afford to buy a house yet. We have so many student loans and DH has bad credit so we can’t get a mortgage even if we had the down payment. Basically, we were told we can’t get a mortgage unless we paid off DH’s school debt and built his credit back up.

Anyway, please, any advice would be great and maybe if you could throw in a few prayers…


As I understand it, you dh doesn’t have to report his school debt because it isn’t unsecured debt like a credit card. My dh doesn’t. I’d talk to your county social services people about it, if I were you. And God bless you!

Could you move to a more rural area? You would have to drive more but maybe you could have less neighbors in general.

Unfortunatley DH’s loans are bank student loans…they are co-signed and are secured loans. Mine are the same.

Also, rural areas are out of the question because i don’t know how to drive :frowning:

I’d get a gun as soon as I could, sarcophagus.

Look for a new place to live. The criminal element will always be present in these types of apartments. Are there any apartments nearby that do more thorough background checks of residents? Can you check the internet to see where the criminals are living and avoid those complexes? Generally, the newer apartments have fewer thugs living there because the landlords are more careful about tenants.

Even if it is a room over a garage with a hotplate for a kitchen and a dumpy bathroom, you have to make real sacrifices for your safety. Don’t risk your life another month in that apartment.

I would also seek the advice of a free financial adviser about a new repayment plan for your loans. What are the bankruptcy laws like in Canada?

you might ask at your parish if there are any older couples who rent rooms out.

Can you live on campus?

If you have a car, go ahead and learn to drive. You’ll use it eventually.

Can you increase your income?

I’d get a gun, too. Training as well, of course.

Thanks everyone…

The gun is coming…Dh owns 13 rifles and shotguns for hunting (though most are family heirlooms). One of them might be making its way down from his parents place this weekend. Both DH and I have gun licenses so that isnt a problem.

As for filing for bankruptcy, I’m avoiding that. Right now, that option isn’t even on the radar as we are both 22 and 23. I just don’t want that to be on our records.

Looking for a new place is hard. We don’t really want to live with anyone since we’ve done that for 2 years and just got rid of our last roommate (and final). We can afford this place right now, the issue isn’t really money at this apartment, its the safety. So far, after a few days of searching, phonecalls etc. even cruddy basement apartments on this side of town are more expensive then what we are paying. The cheaper part of the city is all the way on the other end and its EVEN WORSE than here:eek: !!!

Basically, unless you are super rich, this town is a dead end. Living on campus won’t happen right now because I’m married and also because there is a teacher’s strike so I can’t even get on campus to get information.

It feels like we’re stuck in a dead end. We’re always looking.

I did see an ad for no-money down mortgages (ie> no down payment). Anyone had experience with these?

Thanks again for the advice!!

I’m going to pray real hard for you guys. Something will come through so don’t give up. My advice? Do whatever you have to do to get out of there; sell whatever valuables you have, use all your savings if you have any, call in favors, beg your parents…whatever. Remember you can always recover from debt and/or bankruptcy, people do it all the time.

Hang in there and God bless.

[quote=sarcophagus]Unfortunatley DH’s loans are bank student loans…they are co-signed and are secured loans. Mine are the same.

Also, rural areas are out of the question because i don’t know how to drive :frowning:

You are a very smart young lady, you can learn to drive (waaaaayyyyyy better than sleeping with a knife and a gun).

Just look outside of the city, you might be thrilled at how relaxing it is out in the boonies. (I drive an hour each day to work, but, I have peace and quiet every night).

You are a very smart young lady, you can learn to drive (waaaaayyyyyy better than sleeping with a knife and a gun).

Just look outside of the city, you might be thrilled at how relaxing it is out in the boonies. (I drive an hour each day to work, but, I have peace and quiet every night).

Thanks Kage_er…it’s funny you should mention the boonies…I grew up in the boonies…2 hours in any direction before you hit a city. It was nice and i miss it.

It wasn’t until I went to school, got married etc. that we lived in a city. Its a hard adjustment. But once I learn to drive…oh yeah, outta here…lol

Have you tried looking on Go to the main site and on the right there are cities you can choose from that are closest to you. That’s how I found my apartment and it was a steal!

Your options are limited and unfavorable. You mentioned that you had a roommate in the past but don’t want to have any more. When it comes to living across from drug dealers, rapists, etc, I’ll take the roommate. Perhaps you can find another married couple who will share a larger apartment or a house. That way the rent is split up 4 ways. I know its hard living with others but at least you won’t have to sleep with a knife.

There’s also the possibility of getting a second job to supplement your income.

Does the Canadian government subsidize rent? For example when I was looking for apartments on managed properties they would reduce your rent if you didn’t make that much money.

Whatever you do, get out of that place.

[quote=Alterum]I’d get a gun as soon as I could, sarcophagus.

This is good advice… we have one, too. But just consider that a person (intruder) is probably more likely to actually fire a gun at you if you’ve got one pointed at him. So I guess be really prepared, mentally, to use it. Just something to think about. :o

May Jesus and your angels protect you in your really scary situation. :gopray:

Well, just an update…no scary things have happened yet. We talked alot about this last night and we just can’t afford to move. We’re gonna try to stay here until the lease is up at the least and maybe another year to save some money. We talked to the landlord and we are able to put a few extra locks on the door so long as we are home when they need to get in to do fire inspection and the like. We’re gonna see about insuring our valuebles (guitars, computers etc).

So now, we have to save money like crazy. Our income is decent (not enough to own a house) but we both like to spend. Its mostly on snacks and such when we’re at work (or me at school). How does one go about saving money? I know its a dumb question. We’re sort of saving for a weekend trip. We need it sooo bad, but we used our tax return to pay for it.

Also, the parents can’t help. His parents have never had that much money and my formerly very wealthy parents have fallen on some hard times. I never learned any financial sense from my mom, she spent money like it was going out of style, that’s why they’re broke. I never wanted for anything as a kid, and now, I see the error in those ways.

I think I’ll start a new thread for the financial advice…lol

Thanks for you support, prayers and advice!!!

Yeh, I think a thread on finances might be a good thing.

You also need to learn to sorts your 'wants" out of your “needs”. Vacations are “wants” as are snacks and meals out.

I found when I was younger that adversity is a good teacher. You might try a contest to see who can think of the most ways to cut back and put money into the old savings account. Winner of the month gets bragging rights and a non-spending treat of some sort (Foot massage? No performing a detested household chore?).

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