I’m worried about my 12 year old sister. As some of you know, we’ve lost our mother almost 4 months ago…Well, This past week has been a terrible week for her (and I, being the tissue), she has been having dreams, some of them being nightmares about our mother. She wakes up crying, and sometimes sobbing. I’m out of things to say that would comfort her (not that it’d help much anyway). I’m so upset for her,and scared that she is depressed. You might think that she should go to her dad about this, but she’s always confided in me and our mother. I just feel awful, because I know I can’t do much to help ease her pain.
I feel so bad you both, My sister died about 15 months ago leaving behind three children, ages at the time of her death were 15, 13 and 5. plus two step-sons (now 20 and 19)she raised as her own (she married a young widower). The older boy. and older stepson took it quite well, they are very strong for the others, like you. The little one (now age 6) is just coming to terms that her Mommy is truly gone for good. The problems are with the younger stepson and the daughter. Daughter, now 14 like your sister cried constantly, school grades slipped, lost a large amount of weight.(not good in her case slender to begin with) The younger stepson was mad at the world for losing 2 moms. getting in to trouble with the law and lost his job. Firebug, Go to your Father. The “Strong Boys” also were afraid to appoach their father having to bury two wives before he even turned 50. He too was quite depressed. But for his children he pulled himself together got them all of them conseling and now all the children, even the “strong ones” are in a support group with other children who lost their parents before they were 21. I suggest this for you too because you have to let it out sometimes. God Bless You and your Family. Your are a wonderful person for your loving concern for your sister. You are in my Prayers.:love:
You always post incredible pearls of wisdom. Thank you.
You are in a difficult position, but Kaymart is absolutely right, you must go to your father now. Telling him will not hurt him more than he is already hurting. It will help him realize that he has other people who need his care. I’ll pray for your family.
a close family to my family lost a mom about 6 months ago.she left behind 9 children the oldest being16 and the youngest 1. i dont know if this helps u at all but i know it comforts me to hear things similar to my own troubles.its also hard for them because they were all pretty close to their mom and she did so much for them.its hard for them to confide in their dad especially since he is already married to another woman who they dont particularly like.
ill be praying for you
God bless you all, I will keep all of your and their souls in my prayers, please check with your Parishes, as a lot of them now have “grief counseling”. I went after my mother died, and they were extremely helpful. They have special classes for children for some of the groups. If they don’t have it, perhaps some of us could be helpful in having them start one. Just a thought.
Sometimes, I think that the best thing you can do for someone is to just be there with them while they cry. Hold them if they are open to that, or just sit with them. Maybe you could just say a silent prayer for your sister while she cries, ask your mom to intercede for her. One of my best friends in High School, also about 14 lost her mother at that age, she says now that she wishes her father had put her in counseling. Perhaps if you just call your Parish and talk it over with someone, the Priest would be able to include her in His Mass prayers, and perhaps even talk with her or help out to get her some help.
If your precious sister is depressed, then she needs to be evaluated by her doctor, a counselor, or a psychiatrist as soon as possible. The teen years are hard enough without entering them depressed. Please, please get your sister help from a Christian professional. God is using you to help her get well. And I’m sure your mother is praying for both of her beautiful daughters as well. Look to the long run, your sister needs more help than you can give. And you need help too. Don’t brush off your grief and feelings of sadness. Please talk to your father today. If that doesn’t work, call an aunt or a grandmother.
:bigyikes: Wow, in a sad kind of way, hearing about other people’s problems does help me a little bit. Sometimes it feels like God is purposely “punishing” my family, but it’s clear it’s just a natural thing that happens all too often.
I’m going to talk to my dad about this, I’ve been telling him some things, but I know he’s under stress as well, and don’t want him to have to worry so much about her, but it would only hurt her if I didn’t discuss the matter with him. Thank you SO much for your prayers, it’s much appreciated! My sister seems to have been doing good today, so I’m hoping she was just having a rough time because of the day-friday (the day my mother died on), and that it’s not depression, but if it is, we need to get that taken care of.
Kaymart and Longshanks, I will be keep your family and friends in my prayers!
Anytime you need to talk, post here or your can PM me. Take care, Kay