I rarely wear my engagement and wedding rings. I rarely wear any jewelry. It doesn’t bother me at all, nor does it bother my husband.
Have you asked her why she isn’t wearing it? If she forgets it’s not on purpose.
What, specifically, about this upsets you?* Why* does it upset you?
The ring was a gift, freely given. It is not for you to say what is done with this token of your love-- just as with any other gift.
To put expectation or requirements on a gift make it something other than a gift.
Stop giving “hints” and saying things “in charity”.
If she wants to wear her ring, and truly forgets, she will work on remembering. Things you say will not change anything, and may instead foster resentment on the part of your finacee.
What does your fiancee believe about this? The issue itself is a minor one, however the beliefs behind it may be the bigger issue.
Also, how you handle disagreements, if she in fact does not think she needs to wear her ring “at all times” outside the house, is more to the point.
If she doesn’t see it as a big deal, and you do, how will you handle it? Pout? Resent? Keep hinting under the guise of charity?
Will you state your reasons and ask her to do it for you out of love, even if she sees no reason? If my husband specifically said, 'I know it’s not a big deal to you, but it is to me, and I am asking you to wear your ring" then I would do it because I love him.
Or, although you’d really like her to wear out, out of love for her you will bear this little cross and not bring it up at all?
These are all things that are up to you.
First, there is no right or wrong. It’s how you feel about it. But, keep in mind that rings are not a required part of matrimony. They are a symbol, but not the norm in many places. In some cultures, no ring is worn and in others only the woman wears one.
It’s important to you, so it’s important. What you need to focus on is why it’s important to you, why it’s bothering you, and why it may not be important to her (or clarify that it may simply be that she forgets because it’s new and she doesn’t normally wear jewelry).
Personally, I don’t see a reason to be upset by this. But, that’s my personal preference.
What is really important is that you two deal with it directly, calmly, and using good communication skills. Come to a compromise if possible, and let it go if you can’t. It’s a small thing.
But, if it’s extremely important to you and the source of the “unimportance” to her has some deeper root (like many feminists that view a wedding ring as a sign of oppression… etc…) then maybe you should talk more about your views, values, roles, and future expectations.
You won’t know until you ask HER.