I have been unsure of my marriage for some time. Lately things have gotten to the point where my therapist felt it was almost time to call DHS and have my husband removed from the home.
He has a problem acting like an adult/parent. We have 3 children and with all three as infants he would cuss them out when he didn’t feel like dealing with them. Last weekend was my breaking point. He was angry with our 4 month old all weekend and was walking around under his breath cussing her out. I stepped out of the house for a moment and when I returned I heard “whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack” and I’m thinking what in the world is that sound until my two oldest children (4 and 2) come running down the hall screaming and crying and my 2 year old has a large red welt on her back from where my husband hit her. I came about a milimeter away from asking him to pack up his stuff and go live with his brother.
This is only the tip of the iceberg. He has created debts that were are having an extremely hard time paying off. He harassed me until I got a job so that we could pay things off faster and I never saw a dime of what I worked for (mind you it was stocking flooring at Home Depot from 8-1am 5 days a week without any help taking care of my children I did that during the day all by myself). He didn’t speak to me everytime I got pregnant with a girl. He refuses to get himself help even though I have started going to therapy to work on myself so that I could be better with him. He doesn’t speak to me at all anymore and no matter how much I try to make a happy home for him by cooking. cleaning, taking care of the kids, not asking him for help, etc. it does nothing. I’ve tried praying together, alone, making sure we all go to church.
To be fair I know I have my own problems and I have done some serious group therapy and individual therapy because I want to be a better wife/mother/ friend/ person. I’m willing to do all of that for myself and for those in my life. I just feel like this marriage is failing no matter how good my intentions are and no matter how hard I try. I really don’t want a divorce because my parents did when I was 4 and I know how sad that is for kids. Anyway any advice would be really helpful and any hurtful comments I would ask you to keep them to yourself. I have been chewed out by enough people.