I'll try to be as concise as possible with my concerns.
My fiancé gave a daughter up for adoption years before I met him. This is something he does not talk about and it is a painful, painful subject. I believe he struggles greatly with his decision. I believe he did the right thing in giving her to a loving, stable, Christian family.
My daughter is his child's age. She was recently, coincidentally, messaged... by my fiancé's daughter! They have mutual friend, a little gal my daughter recently met at the church we visit. It was a "hey, looks like we have a lot in common" missive.
I am very excited about this. I believe strongly that, as a rabbi I knew once said to me, "With God there are no coincidences." I believe that all things happen for the best, even though we don't see them at the time.
As well, my fiancé and were quite surprised recently to find out that we are expecting. We really, really did not think this would happen. So... our daughters will have a sweet little sibling in common.
My man has been struggling with getting in touch with her parents just to feel out if she wants to see him or needs anything. I feel like my daughter and I have prayed and prayed about this, escpecially with the upcoming baby, and this may be how God chooses to let this play out. I have my own "daddy issues" and struggled with feeling abandoned. I just want this sweet little lady to be able to come to terms with her adoption and understand why her daddy chose to let her go. My daughter and I have let my guy know that, should she want a relationship, we will welcome her with open arms and love her as part of our family. Certainly we don't want to replace her loving parents that she has, please understand!
My daughter is over the moon. I gave her the advice to "forget that you know anything and proceed just as if you didn't know who the girl is." When it comes out, should it, my daughter plans to tell her, "I didn't feel it was my place to tell you." Also, mine may be going to the same high school this fall as his!
Please pray for the girl! I've been in similar shoes as she and I know how confusing/painful/angry, etc. this can be.
Thanks for listening!!!!