So, as I have mentioned here before, I was previously married and then remarried before I became interested in the Church. At the time I was not really aware it was a sin, and I had a legal divorce and a civil ceremony for my 2nd marriage. If you happen to be wondering how it is I am now Catholic and able to receive Communion, I will just say that my husband and I have separate residences and when we are together act as brother and sister (which is its own challenge, but so be it). We have discussed this extensively and this will continue to be the case until and if a decree of nullity is granted, with the understanding that it may not be. If it is, then I would move on to pursuing convalidation (my husband is not Catholic, but is willing to consider it, and is thrilled that I am happy).
I have started a case with the Diocesan Tribunal, and have finally completed a draft of the questionnaire, which was very difficult to fill out. I have sent it over to my representative, who also happens to be the pastor of my parish, and whom I know to be understanding and gentle. And yet... we have a meeting on Tuesday to go over the questionnaire, and I am horribly nervous about it. There is so much that is so intensely personal, and which I basically never talk about with anyone, and I am just feeling sort of intimidated and a bit embarrassed. (I suffer from an anxiety disorder, which does not help.) I am kind of a wreck right now and likely will be until after our meeting. I get like this about ANY important discussion that is scheduled for some point in the future.
Can anyone who has been through this provide any thoughts or reassurances? Also, if there are any good prayers, I would love to know them. Right now I basically just pray for strength and courage and the ability to wait for and fulfill God's will on this. My real life friends and family are not very helpful here; mostly they wonder why I would feel that I need to do this, why I would be subject to such personal questioning, etc. and don't "get" that it is required for me so I can go on with my life and my relationship with God. I have been outright told that "the whole thing is ridiculous." Obviously I disagree, but I can't look for much support from that quarter, you know?
I hope this made sense. I'm having a hard time gathering my thoughts.