[quote="dulcissima, post:8, topic:184670"]
You and your mother-in-law aren't by any chance both the type who like to be in charge of situations are you? That's tough, but it's a common scenario. Your post sounds so much like my sister's view of her in-laws who I think are seriously great people, but she and her mother-in-law seem to constantly have some sort of power struggle. I think it is worth the effort to let them just enjoy being grand parents and maybe every once in a while give them a gentle reminder to not go overboard.
As far as having them stay at your house right after the birth, let them know that's too much for you. Suggest a nearby hotel, but plan ways to include them. Hopefully you can work it out. It's possible, but you probably do have to bend a little here and there. And getting your husband's support up front is probably important.
You might be right. I grew up in a very independent family - once we left school we were basically told it's time to grow up and look after yourself - of course my family are ALWAYS there when I need them and we still do a lot together. Hubby's family I find very clingy, have to speak to each other at least once, if not several times, a day. I think for his parents, their kids are their life - seriously, they pine for them, hurt without them and they just hug all the time!
I'm not sure if it's power struggle - but more the 'your taking my son away from me' scenario. They pretty much crashed our honeymoon too so that wasn't a good start to my relationship with them once we were married, and my fears about them once we have kids stems from this.