This is not my first post on a message board but my first one here. I belong to a local Catholic moms board but they can’t know this is going on.
My husband and I married in the Church 13 years ago. We have four great kids. Things were fine for about 9 years, then our fourth was born and my husband started to complain that I wasn’t the same, that our marriage was a problem. I felt fine in our marriage - YES, I was tired, busy. We didn’t go out as often and the intimacy was infrequent. I still made time for it at least a couple of times a month, though.
I did put on ten pounds that has taken me a long time to get rid of. The house wasn’t quite as tidy. At the time I had a newborn, a 2-year-old, a 5 year-old and a 7 year-old. Things were a bit chaotic! I was dealing with school age kids and all that that comes with, plus a toddler and a newborn. I admit I might have been a little depressed and just didn’t take as good of care of myself and my house as I should have. I did cut my hair to a bob, knowing “Andrew” liked it long but I just couldn’t handle it!
So now our newborn is almost 4. Things are still really busy in my house! I still have four kids, piano lessons, dance lessons, soccer, PTA, and just all the stuff that comes with raising a family. I am a stay home mom which is great but it’s not like I lay around all day baking and preparing for my husband to come home. I try not to let more than two weeks go by without intimacy and I have lost the extra weight.
There’s a lot more but I won’t bore you. My husband is an “internet searching” type and he was searching for ways to improve our marriage and last year got very involved with Taken in Hand. Apparently it is a Christian ministry that is supposed to fix your marriage and put your relationship “right” - with the wife subordinate to the husband.
I am not cool with that, because I do not think wives should be subordinate. My husband thinks that I have let my priorities out of control and he needs to take back the reigns in our marriage, and I say that is NOT what I signed up for. He says things have to change.
Do you know if Taken In Hand is okay with Catholic teaching? He says that basically I will need to submit to whatever he demands, but he promises not to demand things that aren’t good for me.
When we got married were were equal adults. This seems really nuts and I am not sure if I should take my kids to leave. Any perspective is good thank you!