New and Lost


#1

Hello-

Haven't been in the forum for months. Will get to the point because I am embarrassed. I am sad and unmotivated. Have a great wife, kids, church ministry (marriage encounter) and try to have a good relationship with Christ. However, between work, finances, my step father's death and just internal struggles, I sometimes feel like just giving up. I feel weak and really cannot tell anyone close how I feel because they will not understand or I think they will judge me. I know Christ is there, but it doesn't seem to connect with me. This has been going on for a year or so. I hide it well, but I know and God knows. I have great friends and again, a great family, but I don't know what to do. If you met me, you probably would never know given my personality. Thanks. No need to respond.


#2

No need to respond?!!! I happened to stumble upon this thread and couldn't help myself from reading your story. Please don't give up! You have found the greatest treasure - the catholic church! You will find nothing in life that will compare. So there is still hope :)
Sometimes I too feel a disconnect between me and God, and I find that the rosary helps me out alot. So there's my advice :)


#3

Greetings and peace be with you Jboom; some encouraging words from Mother Teresa.

Mother Teresa
Anyway
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centred;
Forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.

Blessings

Eric


#4

Hello Jboom
you sound like my sister.She suffers from depression.Go and see your doctor and have a chat it may not be depression,but if it is it an easily be helped with a range of different ways.Counselling of many various forms,medication etc.If you do have depression it could have been triggered by the death of your step father,or stress about finances etc.Many people have depression and it is nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of.If you met my sister you would think her very smiley,jolly but that is her public face!Go and see your doctor and see what he/she thinks.God bless you.


#5

Please get help for your depression. Talk to your doctor, seek out counseling.


#6

[quote="Jboom, post:1, topic:177854"]
Hello-

Haven't been in the forum for months. Will get to the point because I am embarrassed. I am sad and unmotivated. Have a great wife, kids, church ministry (marriage encounter) and try to have a good relationship with Christ. However, between work, finances, my step father's death and just internal struggles, I sometimes feel like just giving up. I feel weak and really cannot tell anyone close how I feel because they will not understand or I think they will judge me. I know Christ is there, but it doesn't seem to connect with me. This has been going on for a year or so. I hide it well, but I know and God knows. I have great friends and again, a great family, but I don't know what to do. If you met me, you probably would never know given my personality. Thanks. No need to respond.

[/quote]

Most of the time, whenever I have feelings of hopelessness, it's me just needing to get over myself. I'm not saying that's what's happening with you, you could very well have a some clinical depression, but you would have to see someone to get that answer. You sound very much the people-pleaser and I recognize that b/c that's exactly how I am. The "you wouldn't know given my personality" gives it away ;)...so it sounds like you put on a front to hide what's really bothering you. That might be fine for the co-workers or your friends, but not your wife. You're not doing her any favors by not being honest w/her about whatever is going on within you. She is part of you. You need to talk to her about this first. You're afraid of people not understanding, but is that b/c you really think they won't or b/c you think your circumstances are so unique that no one could possibly understand? Do you really think people will judge you? And if so, which people? I mean, if you think the lady that sits next to you in church is going to judge you...does that really matter in the grander scheme of things? Would your wife judge you? Doesn't sound like it, so what exactly are you afraid of? I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to diminish what you're going through, only trying to give some perspective. Ask yourself what exactly is bothering you. If it's finances - what about them? Not enough $? Well, that's you, me, and a million other people. If it's your job - what about it? See what I mean? Get specific w/yourself. And turn to your wife. please. Work together. If you're hurting she's going to want to know about it. Don't let pride get in your way. God IS always with you. Don't brush Him aside. If after talking to your wife, you still think you need help, there's absolutely NO shame in that. No one other than your wife even needs to know. Prayers for you... :signofcross:


#7

the following isn’t medical advice. just a cool story about my husband’s depression. but jboom i gotta tell you. this will sound nuts… but…

a few years ago my husband finally admitted to feeling very much like you’ve shared.

he FINALLY went for help when the depression feelings were compounded by cardiac ‘episodes.’ at the cardiologist, he described the heart problems, the depression and (at my URGING!!!) his sleep/ snoring problems.

when the initial heart tests came back OK, the doc turned to the depression and sleep problems-- sent my husband to a sleep study. after 2 weeks of adjusting and wearing the CPAP, guess what.

no heart episodes. no depression. like a new guy.

now his faith life, his relationships, his work and life all can give him a cewrtain amount of joy and meaning.

i pray you find your answer, too.


#8

Please talk to your doctor. Please. It does sound like depression.

I, too, have everything one could need (loving husband, healthy children, enough money to have a nice home and car, etc) and a faith that keeps me going. But I struggle every day with making it though the day and keeping my head up. There is nothing wrong with you, except perhaps a chemical imbalance. Your doctor is the one who can help you, but the previous poster is right, talk to you wife about how you feel.

My depression is not the kind that makes you want to harm yourself or others, nor did I ever want to harm my children when I was depressed after their births as other mothers have struggled with, but the kind where I would rather just lie on the couch and read or knit all day because anything else requires too much effort. For a year or more, if I hadn't had to get up to bring the children to school, I would have been content to lie on the couch and let them watch tv all day. Psychologically and rationally I know that is not a good thing, but emotionally it is so hard sometimes.

So please get help. I don't think God means for you to feel this way.

I wish you all the best and will pray for you. Keep us updated.


#9

Get help, ASAP.

Depression is like a cancer-if left untreated, it WILL keep growing.

Like cancer, it has the same effect on you as well.

We're praying for you.


#10

Thanks everyone for your responses. Definitely gives me something to grasp onto as well as to do. God bless!


#11

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