[quote="Jboom, post:1, topic:177854"]
Haven't been in the forum for months. Will get to the point because I am embarrassed. I am sad and unmotivated. Have a great wife, kids, church ministry (marriage encounter) and try to have a good relationship with Christ. However, between work, finances, my step father's death and just internal struggles, I sometimes feel like just giving up. I feel weak and really cannot tell anyone close how I feel because they will not understand or I think they will judge me. I know Christ is there, but it doesn't seem to connect with me. This has been going on for a year or so. I hide it well, but I know and God knows. I have great friends and again, a great family, but I don't know what to do. If you met me, you probably would never know given my personality. Thanks. No need to respond.
Most of the time, whenever I have feelings of hopelessness, it's me just needing to get over myself. I'm not saying that's what's happening with you, you could very well have a some clinical depression, but you would have to see someone to get that answer. You sound very much the people-pleaser and I recognize that b/c that's exactly how I am. The "you wouldn't know given my personality" gives it away ;)...so it sounds like you put on a front to hide what's really bothering you. That might be fine for the co-workers or your friends, but not your wife. You're not doing her any favors by not being honest w/her about whatever is going on within you. She is part of you. You need to talk to her about this first. You're afraid of people not understanding, but is that b/c you really think they won't or b/c you think your circumstances are so unique that no one could possibly understand? Do you really think people will judge you? And if so, which people? I mean, if you think the lady that sits next to you in church is going to judge you...does that really matter in the grander scheme of things? Would your wife judge you? Doesn't sound like it, so what exactly are you afraid of? I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to diminish what you're going through, only trying to give some perspective. Ask yourself what exactly is bothering you. If it's finances - what about them? Not enough $? Well, that's you, me, and a million other people. If it's your job - what about it? See what I mean? Get specific w/yourself. And turn to your wife. please. Work together. If you're hurting she's going to want to know about it. Don't let pride get in your way. God IS always with you. Don't brush Him aside. If after talking to your wife, you still think you need help, there's absolutely NO shame in that. No one other than your wife even needs to know. Prayers for you... :signofcross: