New Christian & less tolerant!

So, in a nutshell as a get deeper in spiritual growth, the less tolerance I have for vulgarity, etc. I’m keeping a cheery front and being as loving around others as possible (mainly my in-laws who moved here last year from out of state). My secular, lapsed Catholic hubby is following suit, being the first to gently remind his family of things like, “Hey, remember we don’t cuss around the kids. Watch the swearing,” or “Mom, let’s not talk about that [something sexual] in front of little ears.” (Hubby is fantastic! He has changed so much!)

Especially during the holiday season I got lots of comments like, “We liked you better when you were a Buddhist…” “You’re so repressed…” “You’re a 1950’s Puritan.” As a joke I got a skull air freshener from car and my parents-in-law thought it was funny because “You need to be less nice; you take the ‘Christian charity’ thing too far.” The other day one of my in-laws said about me, in front of me, “Pfft… she doesn’t even take a [poop] without asking the Pope.” They are all lapsed Catholics. My father-in-law and brother-in-law like to, out of the blue, start in grilling me and throwing out comments like, “I won’t go back to the Church until they release Mary Magdalene’s gospel” or “Priests don’t know the Bible.” My parents-in-law were angry when I asked them to turn off a pretty provocative movie (Nine) or change it because they were watched it with my teenagers (who were embarrassed and asked me if we could leave their house!).

Believe me, I’m not overt. I’m told I’m just “quieter” at their house now. I’m not “fun” anymore. Odd, because I’m much happier. I asked if I seem judgmental now and was told no.

Hubby, my kids, my friends, and my sister have commented they like the calmer, sweeter, more peaceful, higher energy, etc. me. I smile more and am more loving.

Anyone else have this issue? Thoughts? I think I just need some commiseration! :wink:

Thanks guys!!!



God bless!! It is so great to hear that you are happier and that your kids are happier! Your family is welcome over at my house any Christmas if the inlaws and parents dont want to be reminded what Christmas and the holidays are about…holy days!

And it sounds like thats what may cause some of their comments - your faithfulness makes them feel guilty about their rejection of the faith. I cant think why any Catholic would parrot such ignorant comments as those you hear from Protestants and new agers like priests not knowing the bible and the Church should have adopted other books in the bible with a supposed more female agenda for any other reason than they are searching for excuses to stay away from Mass.

So be faithful, pray, let your joy shine through. But also dont let them off the hook with stupid statements like that. Ask why should the Church use a book that was rejected by those far closer to the Apostles than we are, what makes us think w know better that such non canonical books should now be included? Where did they experience that priests dont know the bible? Do they know that firsthand since your relatives read it regularly?? Or are they just trying to be clever, using phrases from critical Protestants who dont know any better? You can ask them to clarify in a genuinely curious and charitable manner.

Perhaps some will just suggest you simply be tolerant, and charitable and leave it that. But, it seems that sometimes it is just as wrong to let ignorance go unchecked if it can lead others further and further away from truth and Christ. I guess you need to discern those moments very carefully, but I wouldnt let them pass.

God bless you and your family’s renewed faith in Jesus Christ and His Church! I pray you will lead your extended family back to faith and fellowship in the Catholic Church.

It sounds like the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is evident in you, and others notice that! I am sure that it affects their conscience, and so you are getting the remarks coming at you.

It reminds me of when Jesus said “You will be hated because of me”. I don’t think they hate you, but they are obviously affected by the Lord’s presence in you. It is making them uncomfortable because there are some things they should be giving up.

With the grace of God keep doing what you are doing and just let it remind you of how Jesus was misunderstood and criticized by those around him.

How wonderful that your family is on board! I can relate to what you shared about having untimely and unexpected remarks to deal with. It also helps to be with like-minded people who are supportive of you, and you of them. That serves to bolster the spiritual strength of all.

Have a blessed New Year!

“Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

[RIGHT]Matthew 5:10-12, NAB[/RIGHT]

l feel the same way! Every day l feel like I’m changing ever so slightly. It is only when I look back l realize the change is actually more prominent.

My only problem is that I am starting to notice the evils in this world move acutely and it truly depresses me. I am so happy in my faith yet so sad with secular society.

I agree with all the above posters. You must be living a very Godly life as they can plainly see. If a Christian fits in with the ways of the world, he is not living up to his calling. God bless you and welcome.

I just want to encourage you, to keep going down the path that you’re going! :thumbsup:

There really is no valid criticism of the Christian lifestyle. Take that remark someone made to you:

[quote= SurlyMermaid] You need to be less nice; you take the ‘Christian charity’ thing too far."

They couldn’t seriously want you to be a meaner person, or want you to treat them in an uncharitable way. Who would want someone to be mean and uncharitable?

But, if you take that statement on face value, that is exactly what the logical conclusion of it is.

The point is, it is very hard to critique virtue in a legitimate way, but our society and our culture ridicules people who want to be virtuous a million illegitimate ways. This is where we get terms like “goody two shoes”. However, these criticisms are almost always done lightheartedly, in non-serious jabs, because again, there’s no valid criticism of a Christian lifestyle.

The serious part about all of this, is that these attacks come from the Devil. Make no mistake about it, they do, and your relatives are probably completely unaware of this.

There’s not such a thing as being “too virtuous”, or “too holy”. There’s not such a thing as being “too Catholic”.
Is there a point where you know Scripture too well? No.
Is there a point where you know Jesus too well? No, of course not.

All of these attacks you’re experiencing aren’t attacking you for being too good or too holy, they’re attacking you for pursuing holiness. These attacks are very poor arguments trying to convince you that you should stop pursuing holiness.

Don’t listen to them! Be Holy! :thumbsup:
“Be holy because I am holy”- 1 Peter 1:16

Unfortunately, some nonbelievers are SO SURE they’ve got you all figured out, then they proceed to judge you according to their own cherished illusions. And family is often the meanest of all. Luckily, you have allies on your side, so you’re not alone.

One way you can frame this is as a testing ground–it’s easy to be all nice and Christian when you are being uplifted by other Christians. Your challenge is to keep your grace and good humor and charity in a hostile environment.

I will be praying for you!

I have to echo what everyone else has said. You know your on the right path when people who have turned their back on God start getting edgy. I have always used humor to make points, or to defend the faith. Many may think I am wrong, or being just as bad, but I think having a sense of humor helps.


“Yeah ok, go ahead, laugh. Just remember that wonderful fragrance your wearing now only comes in one flavor in hell…sulphur!”

If they are giving you a hard time while in the kitchen, which is where everyone hangs out, point at the stove and say “You see that off switch? Well the gas jets in hell don’t come with one!”:rotfl:

During the summer: “Sweating? You know the thermostats in hell have lock boxes on them!”:eek:

“Okaaaay, but don’t be surprised when you get to the Purgatory Hilton and find your room is in the basement.”

"Oh no, no, your not pushing my buttons. Just remember, next time you get on an elevator, the “P” button might not stand for “parking!”:thumbsup:

LOL! I am sorry! Couldn’t help it.

Thanks to everyone!!! I really, really appreciate the support.



Agree. We should never be surprised to get this reaction as we are His disciples. Pray for those who make these comments and forgive and love( but continue to set “boundaries” for your children’s protection. Stay true to our Lord and be encouraged .
Blessings ,

God bless you!! Looks like you’re doing it right. :slight_smile:

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit