This year has been tremendous along developing my prayer life, or should I say, maturing it. It started out, simply asking God for help, for things, for relationships, etc. and this is pretty typical of most people, it’s turning into a completely new thing, and what I ask for is simply for his will to be my will and not a lot more.
This evening was the first time I attended Adoration of the blessed Sacrament, it’s a very, very simple thing to attend, no real agenda, no person directing it, just you and our Lord exposed, silent prayer and that’s it. I got there from the beginning, not knowing what to expect, and it was nice that other people came in afterwards, for I’m really used to praying alone, and prefer it for concentration sakes. I knelt down for an hour and a half, it seemed like 20-30 minutes, and after running through my rosary beads “using the little system I use on occassion, where each bead represents an individual person to pray for”, I meditated upon the usual’s and much of it, just too personal to be posting on some forum. The last part of it, I was starting to feel the pain of kneeling so long, but since I’m in good physical shape, I knew I can take it and so much more, that a little bit of suffering was honestly not that big of a deal compared to what Christ suffered, and offering up that pain in prayer helped me focus.
I reached a point where I visualized myself in Christs place, being whipped and tortured as he experienced, being mocked and further tortured by the soldiers, the grueling task of carrying the cross, then being pinned to it and it being set into the ground, waiting to die. I tried to feel what he felt, to experience what he did, and even though I could not do it exactly, not nearly, it was enough of an experience to better appreciate what he endured for us, and thinking about what agony he faced, still, he continued to spread the good news, he continued to be the Christ unto the very end, giving us his complete all, you just cannot help but admire him for this as well… As I relived this, it kind of took off with me, where I was in this experience and the resulting tears I experienced really helped to solidify this one as being something I’ll be doing more often.
I’m going to give people a note here though, kneeling that long on the hard floor is a form of self mortification, if you are not in very good physical shape, it’s not recommended at all, so do this at your own risk.