New to the Catholic Church and confused

I was just confirmed last week and received my first communion in the Catholic Church. I am also in the process of getting an annullment. I was remarried this past summer to a Catholic that has never been married. We were told that it is ok for me to receive communion but not her. Is this correct? If so, can someone PLEASE help me understand this?

Thanks in advance and God Bless.

As far as I know if either person was married before and hasn’t received an annulment then the Church considers the marriage invalid, so neither one of you can receive communion. I don’t think it matters which one is Catholic.

If you are living chastely, both of you may receive the Holy Eucharist. It’s not easy, but Christ is worth living as brother and sister, sleeping in separate beds, refraining from sexual intercourse, and avoiding near occasions of sin. Talk with your pastor ASAP about the matter.

God bless you both! I will be praying for you.

I don’t understand why she can’t, but supposedly you can. Also, if your first marriage was not in the Church, then no annulment should be needed.

Unless it happened before he entered the Church, in which case it would be considered valid until proven otherwise.

The whole you can, she can’t thing makes no sense to me either though. I think you should reconfirm this with your priest. Presumably, he knows what he’s talking about, but I’ve never heard such a thing before.

That’s not true. Not all marriages outside of the Church are invalid by nature. If you made a solemn vow before God, it’s valid whether you received the sacrament or the graces that come with it.

It is extremely perplexing and disturbing. From your evidence provided here, it appears that you are in an invalid marriage. By this measure, you should not have been received into the Church in a state of persistent sin. You should not be receiving Holy Communion while you are co-habitating and having marital relations with someone who is not your wife. You should seek the assistance of a priest. I don’t know if your own pastor allowed you to get into this situation, but it is extremely bad for your soul, so seek a second opinion.

I know a non-Catholic marriage can be considered valid, but I didn’t think these marriages were held to our divorce/annulment rules.

Something just occurred to me. Perhaps, OP can receive because he wasn’t held to our marriage rules when he got married last summer, but his wife can’t because she was a Catholic who got married in a non-Church approved wedding? (maybe?)

I believe the Catholic Church is the last of the Christian Churches that has not “edited” the teaching of JESUS wherein HE stated that - paraphrase - that although Moses had allowed divorce due to the “hardness of the hearts” of the Isrealites, that JESUS was voiding that Mosaic teaching and reaffirming that marriage is for “life” and cannot be interrupted except by the death of one of the spouses, or by adultery. And that if any person who does divorce and remarries, that he or she is committing adultery as is their new spouse likewise committing adultry.
The Annullment process - no guarantee and becoming harder to acquire - is intended to verify that one of the partners in a previous marriage entered into said marriage with a false committment and thereby the marriage was not valid by right of the falsehood.

You need to be speaking with your local parish priest or parish annullment representative to ensure you are not confused. I am surprised that was not a topic or side-bar discussion during your RCIA classes.

Were you also recently Baptized or had you already been Baptized?
If your first marriage was valid in the eyes of the Church and you have not received a Declaration of Nullity, the Church still considers you married to her and thus, you are not in good standing to receive Holy Communion. I’m really surprised you were not asked about all of this during RCIA

Also, where was this second marriage conducted? If not in a Catholic Church, did your wife receive dispensation to hold it someplace else?

There are a number of factors that a tribunal would have to consider to determine if your first marriage was valid and then what course of action is to be taken.

Hi. Just wanted to make sure I understand your post.
Are you suggesting Jesus allowed divorce in the cases of adultery?

I know some Protestant sects believe this to be true and have mistranslated Matthew 19:9 to say, “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

But the Catholic Church does not agree. Our translation of the passage is, "I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.” (NAB-RE)

Jesus did not allow the marriage covenant to be broken for any reason. EVER. Neither does the Catholic Church. Either there is a valid marriage or there isn’t; a valid marriage is only ended by death of one of the partners.

That’s not quite true, Suslar. You’ve forgotten about the Pauline and Petrine privileges.

Pauline and Petrine privileges are granted in situations where one party was not Baptized so the Catholic Church does not recognize the union as Sacramental covenant. Because the nature of such a relationship is not Sacramental covenant, it can be dissolved in certain circumstances “in favor of the Faith.”

A true, valid covenant marriage between Baptized Christians cannot be dissolved ever canonically (even if the parties seek civil divorce). All that can happen is the Tribunal can investigate if the union was valid fro its start.

If the Church determined that you need to go through the annulment process, then there is a presumption that your first marriage is valid and therefore that your current marriage is invalid. There is no difference between your status with the Church and your new wife’s status.

I’m really surprised that your marriage situation wasn’t completely sorted out before you were received into the Church.

If it is consummated. If it was not consummated, there are certain circumstances under which a valid sacramental marriage can be dissolved.

I am surprised as well. But then again it never surprises me what some parishes do with regards to RCIA.


It also doesn’t surprise me to see weird advice like this being given.

Hi Suslar,
From the Douay-Rheims Version Matthew Chapter 5, verse 32 “But I say to you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, excepting for the cause of fornication, maketh her to commit adultery; and he that shall marry her that is put away, committeth adultery”.

So, does adultery fit into the definition of “…excepting for the cause of fornication…” ?

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