Hey there, I’m new here and in need of some unique help. I hope this is the right spot to post this question. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We met in our mid/late 20’s at our non-denominational christian church. Both raised Christian and chose to remain devoted Christian as adults. Shortly after we got married, my husband started to go on a journey, one that I encouraged and prayed for, of seeking some answers to some things that he was missing in his faith. Through reading and lectures and forums online, he’s really feeling called to Catholicism. I’m a very different processor than he is… I can’t read the catechism and see my way into this faith for our family and our life like he can. I need more details… I need to sit with someone and ask hard questions and open scripture and get answers and wrestle with things.
Currently we’ve found ourselves in a hard place because he feels called to stop using birth control. We’ve only ever used a barrier method as we both felt very convicted to be open to life from the beginning of our marriage and not use anything that could possibly prevent implantation if life should be created. However, after two very hard and dangerous pregnancies (and two beautiful daughters), I have been advised to stop having kids and I feel like this is the best course of action for my health. I would love to continue to grow our family through adoption and we plan to do that in the near future. The plan before all of this was to have my husband get a vasectomy.
It’s hard to be so forward with strangers about your sex life, but I am very frustrated and struggling with the logic of all this. I want to honor my husband and his convictions to lead our family. But…We waited for each other and have always enjoyed a healthy and active sex life. I am having the hardest time not becoming resentful and sad and angry.
While I understand the idea behind not separating pro-creation from sexual enjoyment, it just seems so harsh and dogmatic. I have a lot of issues with this specific belief and a lot of questions surrounding it, but I wasn’t sure how much I should ask in this forum.
Any advice on what to do, where to go, who to talk to, what to read… I would appreciate it!