Newbie really in need of advice


#1

hi Im new here. Im Catholic and in my 20’s. I need some advice. ever since I was 12 I have fought with masturbation. I didnt learn that it was wrong until I became Catholic when I was 16. ever since then I have tried to stop. Sometimes I make it weeks and sometimes I cant hardly get through a week without doing it. Any advice? after I fall I get to confession as soon as its avalible (saturdays).

also after I fall I always feel so bad. and i am scared to leave the house because I worry about what if something happens to me before I get to confession. Like tomorrow I need to help my Dad out but Im scared to leave the house until I get to confession because I have fallin.one of my friends told me to make an act of contrition then go on about my life until saturday then get to confession. is he right? is it ok to leave the house for school work and stuff before you get to confession?


#2

Pray for Mary to intercede for you! And the Holy Spirit to purify your mind.

Try reading about how the Fatima children saw hell and their description too… then picture yourself there every time you are being tempted. It sounds like the habit is really stuck, so you need to associate it with terrifying things and interrupt the cycle.(Come up with your own terrifying image) Also, try skipping confession for a few weeks. Then your terror of not confessing every week might be an even more powerful thought to keep you from masturbating.

Praying for you!!:slight_smile:


#3

Thanks for the advice. I will do that. Is it ok for me to leave the house to do things (like work or hang out with friends or help parents) before I can get to confession?


#4

Your friend is right. Make the act of contrition and then get to confession ASAP. If this idea still bothers you double check with your confessor. I’m sure he will concur.

One thing that helps me a lot is prayer, short, quick and sincere prayers said with thought and visualization. One I use is in my signature, “Oh my God…” Think hard about the action you are considering and whether it glorifies God or not.
Another Prayer, even shorter is…, “Father take me to the Foot of the cross!” Then visualize yourself there with Christ hanging above you paying for our sins.

It takes time, patience and endurance to overcome this problem. Certain things will work today and not tomorrow.

Peace
James


#5

Next time you are near your church, go in and kneel before the Eucharist. Stay there a while and pray. Sit a little longer and pray the rosary. You receive grace before the Eucharist. Our Mother will dispense great grace if you pray the rosary there.

Even better, try to get to an early daily-mass. Many times, you can stay after and pray the rosary with the other daily communicants. This is a great way to pick up grace. This grace will help overcome the faults you have. Many of us have the same fault and some of us have defeated the problem.

I will pray for you. Above all else, never give up.


#6

To answer your question, crts08, you need not become a recluse until Saturday confession. You may go to school, run errands, or do whatever else you need to do. But do realize that your soul is in jeapordy, so make an act of contrition, stop by a Church and pray, or schedule confession sooner than Saturday (priests often do confessions by appointment).


#7

yes, i double the oppinion above my post. Just call up and schedule a private confession with a priest im sure you will be able to get ahold of one. Plus you get to test your virtue of humility by cofessing your sins face to face if you want.


#8

My heart goes out to you, friend! I registered on the forums just to reply to this post.
I had this same problem, and I’m still struggling with it. I’m glad that you are so convicted…I had gotten to a point where I barely felt guilt anymore…
Over the summer, I went to a youth retreat, and went to confession. The priest there suggested that I consecrate my hands and body to God…sort of like Paul saying, “offer your bodies as living sacrifices”. I told God that I wanted to do His will with my whole heart, soul, mind, spirit AND body. Now whenever I’m tempted, I remember that my body is not really “mine.”

At my church, we receive communion in our hands. I was nearly physically sick when I realized that I was defiling my body “a temple of the Holy Spirit” with the same hands that I was receiving communion in. It’s been almost three months since I’ve fallen last.

Keep up the good fight! I’ll pray for you! (Pray for me, too, please).


Does this Happen To Anyone
#9

Excellant testimony.
If you don’t mind, I am going to post your resonse to someone else with this problem.


#10

I have a question to everyone who struggles with/ has overcome masturbation, when/why did you start?
I still struggle with it :/
I started when I was like 11 because one of my friends whom I trusted very much (he was Catholic, and I thought he new EVERYTHING about the catholic church, and I wanted to be just like him ( he was a year older than me)) told me that you were supposed to do it. I'm very embarrassed to say this... but he also convinced me to do some other stuff...


#11

[quote="crts08, post:1, topic:170293"]
hi Im new here. Im Catholic and in my 20's. I need some advice. ever since I was 12 I have fought with masturbation. I didnt learn that it was wrong until I became Catholic when I was 16. ever since then I have tried to stop. Sometimes I make it weeks and sometimes I cant hardly get through a week without doing it. Any advice? after I fall I get to confession as soon as its avalible (saturdays).

also after I fall I always feel so bad. and i am scared to leave the house because I worry about what if something happens to me before I get to confession. Like tomorrow I need to help my Dad out but Im scared to leave the house until I get to confession because I have fallin.one of my friends told me to make an act of contrition then go on about my life until saturday then get to confession. is he right? is it ok to leave the house for school work and stuff before you get to confession?

[/quote]

It's heartbreaking to think how many sweet, good hearted young people are continually torturing themselves emotionally over this. Being young and single while trying to live in this sex saturated culture makes stopping this practice completely totally impossible on your own power. Paul illustrates his sadness over his own sin in Romans chapter 7. Another great place in the Bible to go when expressing sorrow to God over personal sin is Psalm 51.

It is only when one realizes that Jesus Christ gave his life on the cross as* full *payment for the sins of the entire world for *all time *can the heart of the sinner be changed. Your sin was paid for 2000 years ago at Calvary. Realize this and you can begin to clean up the things in your life that are sinful. It can be a fairly slow is a process.

This cleaning up job is called "sanctification". What happens during sanctification is that you will notice a decreasing pattern of all sin, not just this one in your life. Obedience to the Lord then flows naturally out of love, not fear.


#12

[quote="FiberZilla, post:11, topic:170293"]
It's heartbreaking to think how many sweet, good hearted young people are continually torturing themselves emotionally over this. Being young and single while trying to live in this sex saturated culture makes stopping this practice completely totally impossible on your own power. Paul illustrates his sadness over his own sin in Romans chapter 7. Another great place in the Bible to go when expressing sorrow to God over personal sin is Psalm 51.

It is only when one realizes that Jesus Christ gave his life on the cross as* full *payment for the sins of the entire world for *all time *can the heart of the sinner be changed. Your sin was paid for 2000 years ago at Calvary. Realize this and you can begin to clean up the things in your life that are sinful. It can be a fairly slow is a process.

This cleaning up job is called "sanctification". What happens during sanctification is that you will notice a decreasing pattern of all sin, not just this one in your life. Obedience to the Lord then flows naturally out of love, not fear.

[/quote]

Agree - It is very important to remember that this is a process.

A Journey toward God which will naturally include mistakes.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember in this is not to dispair. Both Peter and Judas sinned horribly by their denial and betrayal of Jesus.

Judas dispaired and was lost. Peter repented and was forgiven.

Peace
James


#13

[quote="GrahamAPhone, post:10, topic:170293"]
I have a question to everyone who struggles with/ has overcome masturbation, when/why did you start?
I still struggle with it :/
I started when I was like 11 because one of my friends whom I trusted very much (he was Catholic, and I thought he new EVERYTHING about the catholic church, and I wanted to be just like him ( he was a year older than me)) told me that you were supposed to do it. I'm very embarrassed to say this... but he also convinced me to do some other stuff...

[/quote]

Most everyone starts in their early teens once the hormones begin kicking in. During these early years we often times lack the maturity and discipline needed to completely avoid this sin. As we grow older and develop maturity, discipline, and growth in our spiriual life we must overcome many sins and weaknesses. Masturbation is but one of these.

I'm sorry you were misled by your friend but am glad you are here trying to learn.

Peace
James


#14

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