I am in much need of advice and prayer. My husband and I married eight months ago, and for most of our marriage I have lived in fear because he has become a violent alcoholic. He hasn’t physically hurt me (although he pushed me once), but he is verbally and emotionally abusive. He started drinking a month into our marriage, which was a complete shock to me. In the time that we were dating, he never had a sip of alcohol. At family functions he would be offered a drink or two but he always refused. I thought I had met a good man with no vice whatsoever, so I was shocked to find out that he had taken on this bad habit, seemingly out of nowhere.
My husband and I met four years ago in our parish. We were both very active and devout Catholics, each participating in different ministries. We never maintained a courtship, but we went on a few dates. He was very persistent, but respectful. When I decided that I should give him a fair chance and began to date him March 2017, he told me that we had to marry soon or I’d never see him again because he was upset that I wouldn’t commit to a formal relationship. Hesitant, but with the intention of proving that I was willing commit to a relationship, I assented. Two months into our relationship, we began to plan our wedding. During this time, I began to realize that he really was a good man and that my worries about marrying without knowing him too well were dissipating. He is considerably older (15 years older), so I thought that he was mature and responsible. He said he wanted to live a holy marriage, with all its ups and downs, and so did I.
To make long story short, a month after we married, he went out with his cousins and came home extremely drunk and angry. He yelled all the curse words he knew and kept brushing me away when I confronted him about his behavior. This has happened five or six times in the eight months we’ve been married. I’m starting to think that he’s always had an addiction to alcohol, but he never told me or demonstrated that he was. He’s also lied about our finances, and he has become very financially irresponsible. The landlord has raised concerns about him not paying rent on time. He says he’s hard at work but there’s never enough money in the house to pay for the few bills we have. I am not working because I just finished my undergrad studies and I an currently working an unpaid internship, so I depend on him financially and, unfortunately, I can’t shoulder the responsibilities of paying the bills right now.
I’ve given him so many opportunities to change, but he hasn’t. I’ve moved back with my parents twice now. He promised me in July that he would never drink again as long as I moved back, and I did, believing that he would remain sober. Come August, he does it again. I moved back with my parents after consulting with a priest.
To be continued