My wife and I are celebrating our tenth anniversary next week. We learned about NFP when we were engaged (CCL method), and have used it exclusively. Due to the nature of NFP, we have been more open to life, sometimes even spontaneously, starting a month after our wedding when we got pregnant. Despite the difficulties (C-section birth, etc.), our second child came the next year. We waited a couple years, then had our third. He had trouble breathing (now diagnosed as asthma), and my wife’s body was starting to get stressed out (pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes). But, we were still open to life, and although we considered adoption, she gave birth to our fourth healthy child in the 7th year of marriage.
Soon after that, my wife was diagnosed with chronic high blood pressure, diabetes and depression, and we are now in our 30’s. Whether or not those risk factors prevent us from having more children, it’s clearly time to be prudent, careful, and responsible. Still, due to our openness to life and the nature of NFP, we conceived again three times in the last three years. Each time ended in miscarriage. We are completely devastated, especially last year when she delivered our son Noah at 17 weeks; we had a funeral and everything.
Since this has happened three times in a row, it seems clear to both of us and our doctor that we are not meant to get pregnant again right now, as there is a high likelyhood that it could happen again. The question is what do we do to prevent another tragedy. Our last pregnancy probably should not have happened according to the NFP chart, and we do not really trust ourselves or that method anymore when the consequences are so grave. Of course we would never use artificial means to stop a new baby from entering the world… but since the babies are not entering the world anyway… it seems artificial means might be appropriate to stop another miscarriage. None of our parents are Catholic, and her parents especially would like to see her get a tubal ligation for her own safety (emotional and physical).
We have not yet talked to a priest, but I thought I would post here “anonymously” to see what you thought. The latest miscarriage was a month ago… her fertility should be returning any time now, so we need to make a decision soon about what to do.