NFP and birth control


#1

I was wondering if there is anybody who has found NFP to be somewhat ineffective (Yellow fertile days a LOT,) and if so, how do you deal with it?

When my marriage was blessed by the church, we attempted NFP for almost six months (with a LOT of abstinance) and then had three pregnancies in rapid succession. The last pregnancy resulted in the loss of one twin, and the remaining twin has Cerebral Palsy. On top of that, since the delivery of the twins, my cervex bleeds everytime I’m intimate with my husband although doctors are not sure if that means I couldn’t carry a baby to term.

Needless to say, after all of this, I am in great fear of becoming pregnant again. I don’t think I could mentally survive another delivery that resulted in anything similar to what I’ve been through, and I can’t justify creating a child that I feel could die. (The guilt over the loss of my daughter is already bad enough.)

My solution up until now has been to use condoms, which of course means no absolution and not being one with the church. I don’t take this lightly and I have been eaten up by it. Some Priests understand and acknowledge my effort and grant absolution, but just recently I have been chastized, insulted and then unabsolved by a new Priest. I was told (rather flippantly) that should I continue to have babies that don’t survive, that would be my cross to bare. (I DO understand the lack of absolution, not necessarily the attitude, and the difference in Priest’s attitudes astounds me!)

One Priest asked me to take another look at NFP because there have been some adjustments that make it more thorough for crazy cycles. Nothing I’ve found substantiates this. Is there something new (since 2001) that I don’t know about?

Any insight as to any part of my situation would be welcome. Thank you.


#2

I’ve heard that the Creighton Model is good for confusing cycles AND offer very thorough teaching AND medical help for problems

check them out here
creightonmodel.com
popepaulvi.com

I personally use CCLI’s sympto-thermal method. CCLI also offers refresher courses and counseling for members. I like the cross check of temps and cervix position along with mucous. I’m also blessed to have an NFP only doctor who can help me with my charts. You can check here: ccli.org for more info

Also nfpandmore.com and omsoul.com might be helpful for you

God bless you during your struggles. I’ll offer prayers for you and your situation.


#3

I can see you are in a lot of emotional stress right now, but I must tell you, condoms are not a great form of birth control. They leak and tear ALL THE TIME! How many people have I seen coming into my ER who say they couldn’t possibly be pregnant b/c they use condoms, but guess what…we run a urine sample and BFP!

You really should start NFP. Not only will you be back in accordance with Church Laws and feel better about that, but it is very effective. Yes, there can be some large periods of abstinence, but that’s part of how it goes. Also, I don’t think you should feel obliged to keep making babies, but remember, you do have to be open to God’s Will, even if you use NFP right, it’s not 100%…but then again, nothing is…and condoms certainly are not that’s for sure! There is always the chance God might Will another child…that’s in His Divine Plan, something we cannot understand or fathom. You just have to try to trust in His Will.

I can see why you would not want to actively TTC, and that’s fine! But remember, NFP is 99% effective when done correctly.

Pray pray pray!! I will pray for you too b/c it sure sounds like you need it :console:


#4

Thank you for your responses.

I looked into all of the sites that were offered, and I believe I was using the Creighton method. (It was strictly mucous based and I was found to be a very tough case.) Because my fertility period was unable to be tracked after six months with constant counselling and diet variations, we never actually relied on NFP as a means to cause or prevent pregnancy. This resulted in prolonged abstinence and the children in rapid succession. What I’m trying to say is that we did it correctly and still had ambiguous results.

I was intrigued by the CCLI method, but the site was very vague. In determining the position of your cervix, is this done by touch? (I seriously cannot touch it without bleeding and cramps, even a good cough will bring this on!) The bleeding then leads to a mini-period which in turn seems to affect the entire cycle.

Does the thermal aspect of this method add a lot of insight to fertility days? That is one thing we hadn’t gotten around to adding to the NFP, and I am curious. Thanks again.


#5

Billings is another mucous only method, are you sure you weren’t using that? Creighton is supposed to use a medical model with standardized mucous observations.

Yes, to make the cervix observations, you have to touch it. Probably wouldn’t work in your case. Temperature rises after ovulation due to hormones. It helps you cross check with the mucous, though you can use temp only. nfpandmore.com has the various rules online. I tend to rely on temps a bit more than mucous, because you’re safe 4 days after your temp rises 4/10ths of a degree above the low temperature level.

I don’t have the magical answer for you. If it were me, I’d take it 6 months at a time to find an NFP method that worked for me (abstaining totally) and find a Doctor that could help my medical concerns. It’s not normal to have constant mucous and bleed all the time. Charting temps might give insight to what’s going on, but so should the mucous for the Creighton model? I’m just not sure who you were dealing with and what form of NFP you were using. The Pope Paul VI Institute is supposed to be able to help women with such issues. Maybe contact them again and get an evaluation?

God bless


#6

I’ve heard that the Marquette Model of NFP is good for people with confusing cycles, who don’t necessarily have textbook fertility signs. You use a Clear Blue fertility monitor, along with pee sticks (which are similar to pregnancy tests, except they detect fertility hormones rather than pregnancy hormones). The monitor will tell you if your hormone levels indicate low, medium, or peak fertility. I don’t personally use it, but I have heard that it’s good for couples with ambiguous fertility signs. It’s an initial investment, plus a little each month for the fertility sticks, but it may end up being cheaper than using condoms, and is certainly more morally in-line with Church teaching.

Here’s a website that you may be able to use as a point of reference:

marquette.edu/nursing/NFP/index.shtml

God bless you and your husband.


#7

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