I’ve been hearing a lot about NFP on these forums and was hoping to get some more information on the emotional side of it. I first heard about NFP from a charismatic friend from New Zealand and I remember thinking “ewww, gross.” I am very uncomfortable with my body in terms of others seeing me unclothed, uptight doesn’t even begin to describe it. I can barely handle my doctor during the annual physical (it’s not even “that kind” of physical, I was told I don’t need it right now.) I know that NFP is great for most couples and I support the church’s stance on BC, but I worry about my ability to do NFP with my future husband without having a total mental breakdown since that is galaxies outside my comfort zone. For those of you who do NFP, have any of you experienced this aspect of it and how did you get over it?
Perhaps I can help, my wife and I do NFP. I believe you are discussing examination of fluids. Please correct me if I’m wrong.
NFP (at least the kind we practice) can be done totally and completely through self-examination. I have never examined my wife for fertility; that has never been necessary. If I’m right there are books that recommend the husband be involved in examination, but I’m kind of with you on that one, and so is mywife: ewww, gross.
Besides, after three months of being married you’ll have little shame or shyness left (in a good way)
In conclusion, please, please don’t worry about it. It may also interest you to know that after my wife got off of bc (we were Evangelical) she said she felt completely differrent and much much better. I wouldn’t go back to BC even if it weren’t condemned by the Catholic Church.
This thread probably belongs in another forum… but anyway…
NFP relies on SELF-observation… unless you and your husband decide to have him participate.
Within marriage, over time, these barriers break down… the husband and wife become ONE FLESH…
It may be difficult to fathom now… but it’s a sexual intimacy is a sacramental aspect of matrimony…
Thanks to whoever moved it! I thought it was in Family Life, I have no idea how it got in vocations
Creighton method is nothing more than you usually do already when using the restroom.
Can anybody give me specifics on how NFP is done? I’ve looked online and all I can find is the basic gist of the programs, not how they’re done. I know when it comes time I’ll have to take a class, but I just want to know now for my own curiosity.
I wrote this in another thread, but here’s the gist of the different methods. I highly recomment learning justfor your own health.
Sympto-thermal: observe muccus, cervix placement with internal observation, and temp
Billings: observe muccus
Creighton: derived from billings, but more medical research, and standardized teaching, with teacher checkup
Marquette: mostly like Creighton with a fertility monitor (pee on a stick every night)
Observing mucous can be tricky at first…but when that is all one has to go on, one learns to be extremely astute in observations. I had health issues that made learning difficult at first, but once I learned the different types, I was set. Creighton is attached to Napro technology…Mucous observations can give lots of warnings about different potential health issues. I take my charts to my doc and he can see my probs.
Creighton is adamant about the need for scientific observation. ALWAYS…all the time….EVERY time. No exceptions
Sympto- is good for those who want to cross check different indicators. I know of some sympto users (and have read in the book about this too) who lax on observing a particular indicator at some portions of the cycle. This scientifically, can no longer be a reliable indicator then. If one knows their cycle and when to use the temp, it may work, but it is no longer a scientific observation. In order to use the temp indicator accurately, the woman must have regular sleep and take the temp at the same time every day. The temp indicator can also have variables from illness. Some women are uncomfortable with internal observations.
There is a major philosophical difference between Creighton and sympto. Creighton method is very clear that a particular day is either fertile or infertile. There are no “iffy” days…there are no “maybe “ days there is no “conservative“ avoiding… If you choose intercourse on a “fertile” day, you have abandoned the method for avoiding pregnancy, and employed the method to achieve pregnancy. If in research, even one woman conceived on a particular day (peak plus 3, for example), then they would pass that on to students…it is possible that you could conceive, so consider it fertile.
Sympto has “conservative use” . There are certain days in a cycle when very few women have achieved pregnancy on that day, so if you are not being “conservative”, but “kind of avoiding” then those days would be “safer”. (please bear with the language…I’m just trying to explain the ideas here). I know of at least one couple who used an “iffy” day …. They got pregnant. They resented NFP. It was a different psychological place that they came from because of “chancing it”.
That being said, if you’re happy with the method, fantastic. I’m single, and I love Creighton because it has really helped me with health issues.
I’m not sure how you got the impression that your spouse needs to be involved in any observations you make for NPF. He does not. Mine isn’t.
That aside-- you definitely need to proceed with some counseling regarding your body issues. Your husband will see you naked and if that’s a problem, you need to deal with it before you have a husband.
The only couple I knew who did NFP before I became Catholic said it that the husband had to be involved. It’s not htat I mind my husband seeing me naked, but from what that one couple described (the sampling mucus and stuff) that seemed to be a little too much.
The husband has to be involved insofar as making decisions to abstain or not. He certainly has some involvement. Some dh’s might take their wife’s temperature orally for example, and help interperet charts. But I don’t see why he would need to do a lot else.
Oh no… some couples choose to have the husband involved in this way… but most (I think) rely entirely on the wife’s observations. The discussion on whether or not to abstain is always a mutual decision… and that’s where most husbands involvement in NFP is.
Hope that helps!
When my wife and I took an NFP course we were told that it was important that the husband and wife are doing it as a team rather than having the responsibility fall solely on the wife. It was taught to us this way as a philosophy. We used the sympto-thermal method and there was nothing about the method itself that required my involvement. In our case, my “job” was handing my wife the thermometer and recording her temperature on a chart. Hope this helps.
The Standard Days Method requires you only to keep track of the start and length of your cycle. No observation is needed.
It is easy to learn and should be well within your comfort zone.
Please stop promoting this highly unreliable and unscientific method that relies on averages, not observation.
While YOU do need to be willing to get to know your body well as far as your vaginal mucus production, your husband does not need to get involved with this. The husband would do well to get involved by understanding what is going on in your body and what that means for your intimate life, but he doesn’t have to do a thing otherwise.
Your friend might’ve been leaning toward the aspect of how wonderful it can be to have your husband involved, or how NFP does allow for the husband to be wonderfully involved, bringing the couple closer. But it’s not necessary.
And there is just no need for your husband to help you check your mucus unless you are confused and want a second opinion or something. It’s pretty easy to follow, though.
Even my DH, who is really into NFP/science/the human body and was curious about the mucus, has only been involved ONCE in the mucus part. Here is an example of why a DH might get involved IF you ask him to: I wasn’t producing mucus well, and I wanted to see if we could find my mucus internally. Some people do this in NFP because it’s easier to observe at times (but you don’t have to, by any means). I, however, am very squeamish about going in and finding my own cervix, it makes me feel faint, etc. So I asked him to please try, so we could observe the mucus more easily.
Hopefully you can feel more comfortable with your body just for yourself to be able to do these observations. It’s not so gross - actually, it is very natural and when you begin to learn, it’s AMAZING how your body works and prepares to receive a little blessing from God
Be aware too, that if you are squeemish about touching your own body, you can still practice NFP. There are some who do cervical observations - this requires feeling your cervix with your fingers. To be honest, I’m too squeemish for that, and there is disagreement on whether or not that is even the best practice.
If you use one of the mucus only methods, you do not have to be invasive at all. When you go to the bathroom, you will use the toilet paper to “collect a sample.” You are not doing anything different with the toilet paper than you do every other time you go to the bathroom. As you learn NFP, you’ll realize, this is not an “invasive” process. The only difference is that before discarding the toilet paper, you will look at it, and then with one finger touch the sample for about a second to determine it’s color and how stretchy it is. That’s it. You can do it.
After being married a bit, this amount of ick, won’t mean anything. And after having a child someday, well… you’ll dream of the day when the only “ick” you had to deal with was your NFP observations…
Thank you for this excellent site ; our church has started a
woman’s group - casual in style , all ages … our good priest has given the diretions and blessing and wanted spiritual focus as primary ; all can contribute their fields of interest .
As seen from recent news items on how NFP , as important as it is , is still a difficult area to be brought up in Sunday sermons, groups such as these can fill the void .This site seems to be a good help !