NFP and Forced Abstinance


#1

I am new to this forum but I see a lot of great info here so I thought I would post and hopefully get some info out of this.

My wife and I have been practicing NFP for over 3 years and I have to admit, the first 6 months was extremely frustrating. This was the period of time when my wife was tracking and getting her system (rythm) down so we could be safe.

After that period of time, things get better and our frequency of lovemaking increased and was actually much more enjoyable.

The past year my wife was pregnant and wanted NO sex and now that our youngest son is 6 mos, she still wants none.

I am so frustrated right now that I feel my wife does not want me at all. I just barely touch her and she cringes…

Please Help !

Matt S.:frowning:


#2

I don’t think this is about NFP really–sounds like you need to sit down with your wife and find why she always says “no.” If she just doesn’t feel like it, she may want to discuss this with her doctor as it may be a combination of post partum hormones and fear that it will hurt more after going through childbirth. The key here is communication and understanding on both sides. You have a legitimate desire to have relations in your marriage, so you need to work this out together.

God bless.


#3

Very sorry for your suffering.

Perhaps you should see a counsellor. This doesn’t seem normal. Maybe start with your Priest, and if he can’t help, see if he knows a good, Catholic friendly, marriage counsellor.

God Bless


#4

Good morning Matt, and welcome to the forums.

First off, let me say I am so sorry you’re going through this, and you’ll be in my prayers.

The first thing that comes to my mind reading your post, is has your dw seen a doctor? Desiring no sex for an entire pregnancy (I’m assuming it wasn’t doctor ordered abstinance for the safety of the baby?) plus 6 months is NOT normal. It could be a hormone imbalance, a thyroid condition, depression, many other physical or psychological issues. If she hasn’t, she needs to see her doctor ASAP. If she has, and no physical cause has been found, then maybe counseling is in order. Is she scared of getting pregnant again, despite NFP? Did she gain a lot of weight w/ the pregnancy and hasn’t lost it, so she’s feels unattractive? Maybe she now sees herself as just a mother, and the thought of “wifely” duties make her uncomfortable? Any of these (and other) a therapist or counselor may be able to get to the bottom of.

Well, those are the things that came to my mind reading your post. Hopefully others will be more help. I will keep you in my prayers.

In Christ,

Ellen


#5

I’m not sure why you framed this as an NFP issue.

This sounds more like depression, post-partum depression, or some type of physical or emotional problem. I’d suggest she see a doctor and/or you two get some counseling.

I’m sorry you’re going through this.


#6

It sounds like it is not so much an NF issue as a medical/psychological issue with my wife.

I am very touched by all of your prayers and sympathies.

I have tried to talk to my wife in the past but she gets upset and treats me like I am being insensitive and I should just leave her alone.

I will talk to our parish priest as well…he is a great listener and probably can help as well.

Thank you all again for your support both spiritually and emotionally !

GOD Bless !

Matt S.


#7

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