NFP and Me


#1

I have been trying to introduce my husband to NFP. As he believed it was the ‘old’ counting method, I have tried to explain to him what it is now. This has caused much friction in our marriage, as we have two opposed sides of the matter. As much, relations were non-exist on my part because of my feelings and how I was raised. Causing extreme hurt on both sides.

On the council of our priest, he has given us a number for our local director, who I am enthusiastically waiting for my husband to call her. ( as he is praying on the matter).

If any one cares to please tell me, good resources I may reference.
Also for those who converted ( my husband is a convert to the faith) please ( even if my IM) tell me how you decided to use NFP.

AND for anyone to judge otherwise after 7 years of marriage why there are no children, it has been discussed with my priest, Bishop and God, so please I need help to try to help my husband understand NFP.


#2

You and your husband will be in my prayers :).


#3

There is an excellent book by Toni Wexler called “Taking Charge of Your Fertility”. You can probably find it at your local bookstore, and there is also a website that gives information and has message forums. It is a secular book that teaches fertility awareness to both prevent and achieve pregnancy and also to simply keep track of one’s cycles for general health. Perhaps your husband might like to see that fertility awareness (and subsequently, NFP) is something that is not specific to Catholics. There are many people who use it.

I


#4

Get your husband to a class. It will prove to him that it is not the rhythm method of old, but a scientifically proven method of observing and interpreting your natural fertility signs. It is a dynamic, changing process, that is decided day by day, not based on a calendar at all. It will also give you very useful information on how your reproductive cycle is working (or not working, in my case).
Either go to the classes offered by the priest, or check out www.popepaulvi.com for info on Creighton method classes. There are several different methods, all very useful and accurate, it just depends on which one you are most comfortable with using. Good luck!


#5

Thank you.
I am hoping to get him to a class. In the Ministry program I am in, I know a married couple that teach a class, ( they are both nurses).

Thank you also for your prayers :slight_smile: I will let you know how things progress.

God Bless


#6

I also have to reccommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

DH and I are both technically adult converts, though he was baptized Catholic (his parents never went to Mass). When we got married, he was on a journey from atheism to Catholicism, but not to a point where he had included me much. About 6 months after our wedding, he and I both decided to use NFP. He had decided birth control was morally wrong. I was just sick of all the hormonal contraceptives I’d been on for 5 years. However, I could not stand the CCL book on NFP. It made me feel judged. (Remember, I was a Protestant, and not a very faithful one at that. I was very much raised in the Culture of Death.) Taking Charge of Your Fertility made it much easier for me to use NFP (which the book calls Fertility Awareness Method, but is essentially the same). It made me feel comfortable on two levels . . . one, I wasn’t read to do what the Church said because I didn’t believe the Church had authority and two, there was science backing up this method’s reliability. I felt very comfortable that we could use this “method” for years without concieving if that’s what we wanted.

Now, over time, I became less concerned about not concieving, and less dedicated to charting. When we “accidently” got pregnant, we were happy. By the time our baby came, I was much more ready to let God plan our family. Let NFP be a process for your husband. It can take time to move from a birth control mindset to a God’s in charge mindset. Sometimes all the logic and reasoning and “because God says so” in the world doesn’t do the work that happens when someone just lives with an idea for a time.

I will pray for your family.

MJ


#7

I must say I agree. I felt sort of judged by the CCL book, even though I’ve been raised Catholic and believed firmly that my natural fertility was part of God’s plan for me, etc. I felt like they weren’t really willing to tell me exactly how it all worked. More than once, I was looking for scientific explanation and that was just when they launched into a lecture on God’s will. It wasn’t that I disagreed, but I wanted to be trusted with knowledge. Maybe I remember it as worse than it was.

But I, too, recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I loved the book (just ignore the bits about barrier methods during fertile times, which, incidentally, drastically lower the efficacy too) and I’ve used the software for a long time too. Check out www.tcoyf.com, especially if your husband is more the sort to poke around on a website or play with software than he is to read a book.


#8

We were evangelical protestants when we married, and it was through reading a copy of “Humanae Vitae” with a forward by Janet Smith that we realized we had to stop contracepting and learn NFP. We took the CCL classes and started RCIA the same week – by the way, CCL is re-doing all of their materials and I believe will be much more attractive. Some of the new materials are already being used in some areas, I think.


#9

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