Wow - personally I’ve been struggling for several years, as I think I’ve posted in other areas. NFP works, there is not issue there; it is the lack of sex and physical intimacy which has been the struggle. Not sex for the sake of sex, but the closeness it brings.
May sound odd to some men and woman, but I need the emotional intimacy as much as my wife. The difficulty for me has not been NFP so much as it is we only fairly recently found out what the Catechism says - no sex outside of intercourse between infertile times; so “being there for each other” in between infertile times is no longer an option. We never thought we were just using each other or did I ever think my wife was just for sex. But trying to understand and stick to the Catechism is a bear. I am not sure I am in full agreement on all of it, but then, agreement isn’t the point, is it?
The issue of what is defined as unitive comes up (here and on another site) especially where other sex acts are concerned in bringing each other to completion, and again especially where the man is concerned. By pure definition or some interpretations, for the man to finish outside of the woman at any time is not unitive because there is no physical connection. Maybe it is the human part of me vs the spiritual, but my thoughts have/had been that giving each other the physical pleasure that the gift of sex affords, and to me, the incredible emotional closeness of it, is in itself unitive because we are giving to each other out of love, not just lust. Even if the man is not inside of his wife every time, and we are still open to life in the infertile times. Splitting hairs, I guess. But I have found that because my wife and I have so little time together as it is, plus we use NFP, we get to have intercourse very infrequently, and since there is no other sexual intimacy, it has indeed affected our overall intimacy and for me, the physical and emotional enjoyment of any sexually intimate time we are afforded together.
I am praying harder and the Novena to St. Joseph for strength, but I find it very frustrating still.