NFP -- and my concerns


#1

Hi everyone! Whew, it’s been a whirlwind at my house these past 24 hours! My husband and I talked for a while last night about my ‘revelation’ (see my marital embrace thread for details)

He and I talked about being open to life, and how for a good part of our marriage, we took our sexuality for granted, and didn’t ‘use’ it for God’s purpose. We have always followed God’s will in every other thing within our marriage, but not this. Honestly, as I mentioned in my other thread, I did not know much about the CCC’s details about marital sexuality, until learning from all of you, and taking the time to finally read it. (by the grace of God bestowed upon me) Now, I was thinking of returning to the pill, because of my long ‘time of the month’ cycles, irregular cycles, and cramping, hormonal balance. If we took that route, using the pill strictly for hormomal use, but still being open to life nonetheless, if that would be following God’s plan? If we go the NFP route, and we get pregnant…hmmmm…lol Wow, that would be wild. My husband is 48, soon to be 49. I’m 38 soon to be 39. I prayed last night that God would penetrate my dh’s heart, to have him be more openminded.

So, this morning, we talked again…and he said, with a laugh…‘Imagine if we had another baby, wow!’ ha He said…‘I would be 60 when the child is 12.’ It just seems so…not what we would have had in mind, shall we say. lol

I also have a very high paying job…and my husband, since our recent move, has not found his ‘right’ place yet for his career, and so that is also a concern. He interviewed with an insurance firm s few months ago, and they seemed interested in bringing him on in the new year. We don’t live beyond our means, but we do live a nice lifestyle…and my company relocated us to FL. I’m not concerned though about it, really (strangely enough)…I just don’t know if we could afford in the short term, for me to not work. But, I’m getting ahead of myself! We are not ‘setting out’ to have more children…but we are going to be…open to life. If it happens, my husband said, we would have to trust God.

I am grateful that my husband has taken this so well…but, any advice that you could give would be great. Any links on NFP would be great, and thoughts in general, would be great.

Thank you & God bless.


#2

First stop… nfpandmore.com/
There’s a “how-to manual” towards the bottom right of the page… read it over and over and over and over… you can’t be overeducated on NFP.

Second… contact your diocese (or look at the website) for information on NFP teachers and classes. Having a teacher available to answer questions and to really go over the details can help a lot!

There are LOTS of other sites out there… but I think finding a teacher, and reading that basic manual are GREAT ways to start out.

I’ve been reading your threads, WhateverGirl… congratulations on your “revelation” and may God bless you in your progress! You’ll be in my prayers!


#3

WEGirl,

I have two sister in laws that have perfectly healthy and happy boys running around. One had her son when she 43, the other when she was 45.:eek: Hello!!! They are 4 & 6 now and lots of fun in the family with cousins and all.

Not that it get any easier as we get older but Gods Blessings abound. I am sure He will keep blessing you and your family too, in ways you never expect.


#4

Thank you EM!!! I just read through the link…and it really is a beautiful way to live…and even infertile couples should be following it, I thought that was interesting!


#5

My mom was 43 when she had me! So…hmmm. It doesn’t seem that using NFP to prevent pregancy is immoral…so my question is…does it really have a 99% effective rate? I had my children, following NFP.:blush: Oh wait–we planned our daughter…lol Nevermind.


#6

familyplanning.net/main.php?id_area=27

Could anyone look at this chart, for postponing/avoiding pregancy…and tell me how to read it? I don’t understand the colored areas??:confused: Thank you.


#7

I am not sure how you can be on the pill and be open to life?

Now mind you, when you learn more about NFP, you will see that you will learn and know your fertile times and will be able to avoid a pregnancy if you and your husband so desire.

Being open to life is a step into the deep and can cause a lot of anxiety and worry. Trust me, I know. I happily live that life. Being married to the most amazing woman in the world and blessed with 4 beautiful, happy, healthy children is nothing short of the greatest blessing God has ever given to me. True I worry about providing for them. While our situation is different with my DW staying at home (SAHW&M) and I work 2 jobs to make ends meet, there can be a lot of similarities. Nothing in this world is more important than doing what is pleasing to God as I know you are aware of that. And in this time of “discovery” it seems to be more apparent to you now. You are opening yourself up to His will, His plan for you and who are we to question God’s plan for us. It rings so true that “God will not give you more than you can handle.”

I am pretty sure that if you are at the type of job that you say you are that they will have a maternity leave program if you do become pregnant. With the respect that they are showing to you thus far, I would think that they would be very accomodating (however this may throw a monkey wrench into the new company that approached you) to you if you were to become pregnant.

Again, you are entitled to maternity leave and to be allowed to come back to your job as needed. Also, with all the work from home that people do nowadays, that could be an option for you was well?

Always remember, God first, family second, others next, etc.

I think that your discovery of NFP will open you eyes and will allow you, as a woman, to take control of your body and your fertility. You need to surround yourself with those that support NFP and are willing to talk with you about it. Talk with your priest, he should be able to provide you with resources as well. I do not have websites infront of me, but do a search on the internet for “learning NFP” and that will help. Visit the couple to couple league website. Check local hospitals to see if they offer classes on NFP.

Again, lastly, read The Good News About Sex and Marriage

Of if you have time, listen to Naked Without Shame by Chistopher West (it is 10 cds long, but it will knock your socks off) You can order it online for (I think) $11 (including shipping). The Gift Foundation There are a lot of resources on this website as well.

ccli.org/

ccli.org/nfp/basics/advantages.php

usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/information.shtml

omsoul.com/pamphlet149.Dont-Leave-Home-Without-It.html (lots of links at the bottom of this page)


#8

Oops–it leads you to a spanish section of the site…please go to that site, and click on the tab for postponing pregnancy…thanks!


#9

I agree…I used to be on the pill for hormonal use only…and the RCC is approving of that. And before my revelation…I thought about going back on it for hormonal use…but, as I have refreshed myself on this Christian practice – I see the beauty in nature’s way…

Yes, it would throw a monkey wrench into things with the new job–but if God wants me to take that job…then, it should work out. But, I’m a believer of putting God first in all things. I don’t want my dh to work two jobs—it’s an individual choice, I suppose. Our lives being different, MM…but following God where He personally leads us is the key.

Thank you for those links! I need to find a Catholic ob/gyn…who can help me with NFP. I may attend some classes at a local hospital–or at my parish. I will have to see if they offer that.


#10

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