[quote="motherof3babes, post:1, topic:209721"]
I am a Catholic mother of three children, ages 3 and under. We are practicing NFP to give my body time to heal between C-sections. I become fertile very soon after having my children, I have menustrated within 6 weeks of having all three kids.
As a woman, I am very frustrated with NFP. When I desire to have relations, I can't because I am fertile. When my desire lessens is when we can have relations because I am no longer fertile. Then I feel obligated to be intimate with my husband, and don't really enjoy it. I really struggle with "sex on a schedule." I feel like NFP causes frustration and lack of intimacy. I don't like going to bed at night because I know I am going to be frustrated. Our sex life has now become full of guilt and fear. Guilt and humilation when I want sex and am turned away, and then fear of another pregnancy.
Are there any other women who struggle with this?
I've been worrying about this for after the baby is born. Before we got pregnant, and for the short while we were using NFP, I was having real issues with PMS causing a sort of depression in me that pretty much made me not interested at all. Granted, I had a lot of other pressures contributing to it (I suppose I must say that we were having trouble fully consumating our marriage so the go days were basically...let's see if we don't fail again this time). I had so many feelings of dread over failing at it again, plus pressure to perform, it was hard.
We finally decided it was more important to consumate the marriage. We finally were able to and things have been slowly improving. However, with the pregnancy, things can be rather spontaneous. I find that if I'm completely unaroused, I still feel inimidated by the task of trying to be intimate. I still fear I'm going to fail at it and that my body won't respond as it should. As such, unless its spontanteous right now, I have a tendency to be focusing in on steps, constantly anticipating the next and not enjoying a thing and overall getting frustrated because my body isn't coorporating. Hense my frustration with feeling like what we're doing is only morally legimate if we can finish. I worry: What if I can't get there? I know I need to stop anticipating and just enjoy the moment and eventually let nature happen, but I have so much trouble doing that.
Right now I think that is ultimately my problem. I anticipate, approach it as steps. I don't focus on just loving my husband sexually but on fulfilling some duty. As such, I'm hoping eventually before the baby is born, I can learn to just let go of that anxious anticipation. I'm also going to watch out for what my mood is like. If I'm finding my PMS is really depressively bad and that it is causing me to become totally non-responsive, I'm going to take my Creighton chart and get an evaulation to see if there's something I can do to help with the PMS.
Those are really my only two ideas right now. I'm not sure if they help.