Is it worth learning NFP if we’re infertile? I know that seems like an odd question, but I hear such good things about how it helps a relationship I wondered if it’d be worthwhile?
I’d say it depends on the cause of your infertility. If you’re dealing with ovulation issues, I think it would be an exercise in futility since your cervical mucous would not necessarily be indicative of what is happening in your body.
No, it’s my husband that is infertile.
I don’t quite understand, do you mean use NFP to avoid children even though you are infertile? I honestly don’t see how that would help your relationship. Abstaining is not easy, and if your just doing it because someone else told you it would help your relationship odds are you and your spouse are going to get very frustrated with it.
However, many people who are infertile (by that I assume you mean a couple who hasn’t conceived after a year?) have been able to succesfully use NFP to conceive. So if you guys want children I would definitely tell you to try out NFP! (Used to conceive of course, rather than to avoid)
In that case- I’d say go for it. Knowledge is power, and once you know your fertility signs at least you can make the most of trying for a child
Male factor infertility is so frustrating. I’m sorry that you and your husband are having to go through that.
I’d say to learn it anyway. Infertility can sometimes be overcome, and even if it can’t it is good to have that knowledge in case you and your husband end up mentoring a young engaged or newly wed couple in the future.
Would you like to know when you’ve ovulated and when your period is due? I found that very helpful in day to day life. I wish all our teen girls would go through nfp just so they understand their bodies better.
There is a lot more to deepening marriage relationships than limiting intimate relations.
By itself, unsupported by much else that is required to build and sustain relationships, NFP can cause problems in relationships as easily as it can strengthen some.
There are cases where NFP has caused division and led to infidelity in marriages.
There are many ways of improving relationship.
[strengthening marriage relationship](“strengthening marriage relationship”)
God guide you and your spouse with wisdom and sensitivity.
I agree with going for it. Even if you don’t abstain, it can tell you a lot about your body. I know women who are chaste that use the method as a way to monitor their reproductive and feminine health. You’ll know a lot sooner if something is wrong, which means that it can be diagnosed and possibly fixed.
It’s a very good idea to learn NFP if your DH has impaired fertility. Even with a low sperm count, it can be possible to achieve pregnancy. NFP allows you to identify your most fertile days so you can direct your “efforts” more effectively.
Plus, it is also a tool for tracking your health. When one spouse has a fertility issue, it’s doubly important for the other to be as healthy as possible. If you see an NFP-friendly doctor, they can use your charts to help with that.
When I first read this I thought you have got to be kidding!? But after I thought about it I think there is one thing you could do that might help. Using NFP you could chart your fertile times and it is quite common that women can enjoy sex more during these times. The cervix is open and tilted out and the lubrication is also more adequate. But if the infertility is an emotional issue, then it may not be a good idea to constantly remind yourself and your spouse of your infertility. It just depends on where you are psychologically in the situation. If it is a sterilization then that is different than infertility. There could be a lot of issues that play into this. Feel free to elaborate on your situation.
Also though NFP has helped some relationships it has also torn some apart. It was my wife and I’s single biggest struggle in our marriage. We were NFP instructors and we had to quit and abandon NFP. :shrug: But, granted if one of us was infertile the problems would not have been as prominent in our relationship.
As far as method, well the rules of each method would not apply necessarily to your own schedules. No need to worry about “phases” or schedules or “rules” If you felt like relations with your spouse, you could always do what you wanted.
What you are probably thinking about is less a method of NFP and more a charting of yourselves with better understanding and some abstinence to make the heart grow fonder. If it works for you, go for it! But I have a hard time being a guy and having my wife say not tonight, I am fertile, if I were infertile. Or really any sort of abstinence based on some method that we need not use. From a guy’s perspective, I just think it may be frustrating. It is hard enough for some couples to abstain when they may conceive.
That’s what my first thought was. The only time I ever really wanted sex was during my ovulation and not being able to cope with lots of children, it has not been an option available to me.
Where God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. I don’t think really in your situation using NFP styled abstinence is what’s called for. Being infertile is a suffering in itself which can be turned over to God or channelled into loving an adopted or fostered child. No need to create unnatural suffering for yourself. Only the super saints among us like the Little Flower actually ask God to send more sufferings.
I am not sure if this is what you mean… but when I was getting ready for marriage/a newlywed I kept reading how NFP (to avoid) was so wonderful for marriage and how it would give marriage all these wonderful tools etc etc and I was worried that, because we did not feel the need for NFP we were missing out on something important. I spoke with priests etc and the all concurred, you do not need to use NFP to gain virtues to help your marriage. NFP (to avoid) is beautiful and helpful for those who truly have reasons to avoid, but a marriage does not need NFP to grow in holiness. It can even be negative without the right reasons. Now, if you are talking about learning more about your body through methods used for NFP, I would say go for it. It can be helpful to know your body’s cycles etc.
I agree. If there is at least a slight chance that you and your husband could conceive, you can maximize that chance by using NFP to determine when you are fertile, and then make sure to have marital relations on your most fertile day(s). That would seem to be the biggest potential benefit of NFP for your situation.
You might also find some benefit to charting your cycles just for health reasons, especially if you have a pro-NFP doctor who can help you interpret the possible significance of any irregularities in your cycle.