NFP issues...


Hello all- I am just about to begin RCIA along w/ DH) and know very little about NFP- so bare w/ my ignorance please. I am currently on the pill, but I plan to come off of it very soon because I just learned about the possible abortive effect of the pill- DH and I are not haveing sex while I am on the pill. That being said- I think I have an idea about NFP, but I am a little confused about the whole process. Furthermore, can someone explain to me the difference between abstaining and using a condom? If we are to be open to life- then why should we ever abstain? It seems like abstaining is really just getting around being open to life. I’m not looking to start a debate or ruffle any feathers- I am really just trying to educate myself- and my DH. When I told him I want to start NFP- he had a cow (which I really don’t get because he can’t wait to have more kids- a few months back I missed a pill and we thought we might be PG and he was thrilled). Anyway- I guess I am trying to figure all of this out so that I can explain it to him better than, “thats just what the church teaches, I don’t know why either”.

We definitally want more kids, but I am a college student and had to take off 3 semesters when I had my 2 year old. It has been a finacial struggle, and it feels as if I’ll never get done. I know that is his biggest fear when it comes to NFP- we’ll screw it up and get PG, and then I won’t be able to finish school and get a job. On top of that we are military, so everything has to be done on a time line- we have one or hopefully two years left at this duty station, and I still have two years left of school because of that time that I took off…


Please see my reply on this thread regarding why NFP and contraception are not the same morally.

As for fears of NFP, that is most likely due to lack of education on the subject. Take a class, and be prepared for some abstinence while you come off the pill.

Do research on the Sympto-Thermal Method (STM) at and also Creighton and Billings


First off, congrats to you and your DH both as you being your journey. No need to apologize for your “ignorance” on the subject and I would not even call it that. You are new and are going to have a TON of questions, ask away, there are a lot more knowledgeable here than me, but I wanted to post a quick (hopefully) reply to you.

What a great testimony to life! I am sure that it is difficult on both of you, but I applaud you and :tiphat:

There are a ton of resouces out there and one that I can recommend is

A condom is a barrier to conception, an artificial barrier that is a mortal sin in according to the Catholic church. Every act of marital intercouse must be unitive, uniting the husband and wife in a renewal of their marriage vows and it must be procreative, which is open to new life. With a condom, you are taking the procreative aspect out of the equation. Now, I am sure that you are thinking that abstaining is the same thing? No it is not. We are to decide what time is the right time for welcoming new life into our family. If it is a fertile time and you and your DH decide that this month you are not in a position to welcome a blessing from God you may abstain from sexual relations. You are not doing anything wrong. Too many times people think that having sex during your infertile time of the month is “Catholic contraception” and it is not. You are still being unitive and procreative at that time. No barriers.

There are different reasons that different married couples choose to abstain, finances being a big one. A family member, a mother or father is passing away and they need to be there for him/her, the list could go on and on. However, abstaining and avoiding having children is not a sin.

Again, you are not using abstinence as a “loophole” to NFP. I would highly recommend for you and DH the book “The Good News About Sex & Marriage” by Christopher West. It will answer a lot of questions for you.

The aforementioned book would be a great resource for you to help explain this and even better if he reads it.

Valid reasons to abstain?

Best of luck, welcome to CAF!!! Also, WELCOME HOME!!


I second the Christopher West Book. In fact anything by Mr. West I would recommend!

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