[quote="Rach620, post:6, topic:201957"]
From knowing you on these forums for a little while, I would tend to think that in your situation I would not use NFP to avoid, but would rely on what you've called "NNFP". I know that each month of not conceiving has been so trying for you, and I can imagine that when the reverse is the case it might be just as taxing for you. If it is something you think you could handle (spiritually, emotionally, psychologically) then I do not see anything wrong with using NFP to avoid. Ultimately, this is only something you can discern.
Would it be harder or easier for your psychological and spiritual health to have the added task of charting and using NFP to avoid? Would it make you feel better about the situation to know that you are in control and "doing your part" to follow what you have discerned is God's will for your family at this time, or would it make you feel worse to have to do it at all? Would you think that if God sent you a child all of a sudden while you were not TTC but not using NFP to avoid that it was a special gift and really meant to be, or would you think that you maybe made a mistake and didn't do the right thing?
Hubby and I are sort of at this point right now ourselves, when we think that God is calling us not to grow our family at this time, even though we know that He has also given us the cross of infertility and we have tried to get pregnant in the recent past. We have chosen to use NFP to avoid for a few months now, just because with my recent treatments I do think that my fertility is getting better and I could actually get pregnant. It's so weird as someone who was just TTC to now be using the same rules in the opposite way, and honestly, knowing my track record of not conceiving even with "optimal" fertility in the past, the incentive to actually abstain during those times just isn't there. DH is the "enforcer" though, so we're doing fine with it. It's just a weird/ironic situation to be in at this point.
In the end, it's all in God's hands, and He does have a plan. We're trying to learn how to pray more to ask Him to guide us through this and to help us read the signs and follow them. It's really hard to figure out how to do when all of what you thought He was saying seems to change. I'm starting to really believe that God puts certain experiences in our paths to teach us lessons; once we learn that lesson--or once we get too comfortable with that particular cross!--it's time for Him to teach us something new that will lead us to Him. I have learned so much in carrying the cross of infertility, and I suspect that you have, too. But at some point I know that I just sort of got comfortable with it...I allowed it to identify me, to be my vocation for longer than God wanted. Now He has different plans, plans that involve the pain of not being able to follow the call to motherhood right now, but in a different and just as uncomfortable way.
Sorry for the long post...I hope something here helped. Our experiences have seemed to mirror one another's in different ways, recently...so your post here about avoiding pregnancy really struck a chord.
Your post is really helpful and does sound like our situation. For 4.5 years all I could think about was getting pregnant. My physical health suffered because I obsessed so much. (**Helpful hint: OCD and infertility don't really mix well! ;) :p :o)
Now we are being asked by a member of Christ's holy priesthood to use NFP to abstain. Due to my severe OCD and the fact that we can't reach an agreement on how to raise our children in the faith that is right in the Church's eyes.
Part of me is like, what the heck. Why should I bother using NFP, we aren't going to conceive anyways. We have a 100% natural infertile track record so far. Then part of me is like, what if our long awaited miracle actually DOES happen. How would I feel bringing that child into a dual faith home situation :( and raising it with my OCD and other health issues besides.:eek:
It's all just making my head spin! Oh Rach, we gotta stick together in this. I don't think this cross was meant to be so very lonely.l :( :console: