[quote="iamhis, post:15, topic:232651"]
Thanks Meg, and everyone.
I am so open to whatever God plans, even if it is a baby in this tiny apt, but I talked to my husband last night and he dropped a bomb on me. I starting talking to him about moving forward with the house plans (talking to a builder, costing out things, talking to a bank, and fine-tuning the floor plans) and he hemmed and hawed around and finally said "I'm not ready." I asked him ready for what, and he sighed and didn't give me a clear answer. I told him that I don't expect to get pregnant as soon as we have a house, but at this rate (a snails pace) it'll be a year and a half more (making it two years we will be married) before we are in a house, so it would be time to have a baby. (at least as far as my/our plan goes, never know what the Almighty has in store) He hates being in this apt, he grew up in the country and we are down-town now, so I thought he'd be more motivated to move out.
Is it just me, or is he too scared of children to move forward? OH! and he mentioned last night his views on NFP being 'natural'. He said "we have the power, the technology to know when you are fertile and can avoid it, and we also have the technology of a condom." Then he said something about NFP isn't natural bc we don't 'do it' when I am fertile, since that is what intercourse is for; to procreate. I told him that barriers aren't natural and are interfering with God's design, same with the pill. I pointed out to him that a woman's body can have a hysterical pregnancy (fool her body into thinking it is preg.) that's how powerful our bodies are. I told him "we could 'do it' a week before I am fertile, I could ovulate early, or your little guys could be tough and live a week. I could want to not be fertile so badly, that I make my signs say I'm not any more and I really could be."
That is the open to life part. I thought he knew this before hand. I didn't know he felt this way. All I keep thinking in my head is what my mom told me growing up, "Don't have sex unless you are read to have a baby." He said he isn't ready. To me that means everything, not ready to be married, have a house, or a baby.
I feel so alone :(
Sorry to hear you're having some difficulty. Try not to let it get you down. No one ever said that doing the right thing would be easy. :hug1:
My suggestion is to keep talking about it. Ask him what he means about not being ready. Is he scared for the finances? Thinks he might lose his job? Or is he scared of being a father, and not being a good father? Or is it something else entirely? The beautiful thing about marriage is that we can help each other grow. Just be there for him and let him talk about what his fears are, without judging him. It can be scary to take that first leap and have that first baby. Try to be understanding of whatever is bothering him.
It sounds like he's reconsidering his stance on NFP. My husband went through the same thing when we first started. After a few months of dealing with the inconvenience of periodic abstinence, he was tempted to take the easy road and turn to ABC. But we were able to talk together. We read some catholic books about NFP together. It really helped remind us *why *we should use NFP, and we were able to get back on the same page again.