NFP - When & How to Start - Enganged Couple


#1

Hi all,

I have recently became engaged and we are commited to using NFP.

When should we start seriously learning NFP ?
Finding a Class and/or Books & Counselers ?

When should She begin the charting her Times & Symptoms ?
3 months / 6 months ?

How much should I (the Man) be involved in this before we marry ?
Obviously, I can’t be with her to help until then

What should we do on our Wedding Night if she is in a Fertile Period ?

Thanks for the advice

Website Suggestions . . .?

todd


#2

My fiance and I just started taking classes from the couple to couple league and we’re 7 months out from our wedding. The classes are held over a 4 month period (4 classes about 1 month apart) and they recommend 3 - 6 cycles of temperature and symptom taking to become proficient.

We figure that we’ll be really good at this by the time the honeymoon rolls around;)


#3

I think the two of you should go ahead and sign up for classes now. That way, you can be assured of getting into a class long enough before the wedding that you can have everything down pat.

Right now she’s going to be responsible for the bulk of it, but you should still learn what’s going on, even if you’re not there to participate until after the wedding. It will give you a new respect for her and her body.

Personally, I think all young women should be educated on their fertility just for health and self-respect reasons. I didn’t learn any of this until I was in my 20s and I wish I’d known it earlier.

PS. If she’s fertile during your honeymoon, you have two choices. 1) Abstain. Not fun, but if you have a reason to delay a pregnancy, it’s your only foolproof choice. 2) Go for it- if God wants you to have a child right away, you will. If not, you won’t. It’s good that you’re thinking about this now. If your fiancee’s cycles are regular, plan the wedding/honeymoon around that- my husband and I did. But even if she is regular, things happen. An old friend of mine got married a couple of years ago, and he and his now-wife planned everything around her regular cycle. She ended up having to take some medication that threw off that cycle, and changed some of their honeymoon plans.


#4

My fiance and I were engaged for 8 months; we started NFP classes right after we were engaged, and so enjoyed (and needed) getting practiced at the technicalities of charting. I’d encourage you to start immediately–there is so much to learn and perfect. The time of “practice” will be over so soon, and you’ll need to have those rules down cold if you want to be able to use NFP with confidence.

We have always tried to do as much of the charting as we could together because it is our fertility we are learning about and working with (not just mine.) During our engagement period, my fiance would call me every morning at 6:30 a.m. to wake me; I would take my temperature while he’d talk to me over the phone, and then I’d report the number to him before we hung up. He would then chart it. At the end of the day, I’d give him the cervix and mucus information, and he’d add it to the chart, which he kept.

The process, while perhaps tedious and needlessly complicated to some, brought an additional, magical and very intimate aspect to our engagement period. Having him “do the numbers” and keep the chart instead of me kept him as involved as I in the process, which can be hard if you’re not married and experiencing for yourself the excitment of building up to phase 3!

Now, about that wedding night! We of course struggled with the same question–it was a real issue of concern for us, since both of us are relatively new converts, and had never thought contraception was wrong before our exposure to NFP. We knew that we could not have a child right away for serious financial reasons, but having struggled to maintain a chaste relationship for SO LONG, it was torture to think of abstaining on the wedding night! So we prayed about it, a lot, and kept an eye on our chart (we knew a month beforehand that we were OK; another reason to chart early!) We simply asked God that His will be done; that we trusted He knew how much we wanted that wedding night, but that He also conform our wishes to his will, if we were to be fertile.

And if you do choose to abstain: know that the wedding night is precious and thrilling for so very very many reasons, none of its meaning will be lost if you need to wait.

Anyway, lots of congratulations to both of you! Married life is fabulous! :love:


#5

Hi all,

I have recently became engaged and we are commited to using NFP.

Congradulation :clapping:

When should we start seriously learning NFP ?
Finding a Class and/or Books & Counselers ?

When should She begin the charting her Times & Symptoms ?
3 months / 6 months ?

Start now so it becomses second nature to you. :yup:

How much should I (the Man) be involved in this before we marry ?
Obviously, I can’t be with her to help until then

100% Help take her temp, her chart the results…show her you REALLY care. :yup:

What should we do on our Wedding Night if she is in a Fertile Period ?

CHANGE THE WEDDING :rotfl: just kidding, trust God.

Website Suggestions . . .?

Find the Couples for Christ in your area. They teach NFP to engaged and married couples. If you have need help, please let me know.


#6

what is NFP???


#7

NFP

Natural Family Planning

though in reality, it is only

Natural Fertility Perception, for the planning is done by not having or having sex at certain times…


#8

[quote=uncleauberon]Hi all,

I have recently became engaged and we are commited to using NFP.

When should we start seriously learning NFP ?
Finding a Class and/or Books & Counselers ?

When should She begin the charting her Times & Symptoms ?
3 months / 6 months ?

How much should I (the Man) be involved in this before we marry ?
Obviously, I can’t be with her to help until then

What should we do on our Wedding Night if she is in a Fertile Period ?

Thanks for the advice

Website Suggestions . . .?

todd
[/quote]

Congratulations, Uncleauberon!

I would second (or third) the recommendation that you 1)sign up for classes & 2) check out websites right away (entering “NFP” or “Natural Family Planning” and “Catholic” into a search engine will keep you busy for days!).

The Couple to Couple League has a good website: www.ccli.org.

Charting temperatures and *signs *(not “symptoms”) of fertility is not something that we women just automatically “know” how to do, and fall into the routine instantly. It takes practice. And, the more of a baseline you have (i.e., the more pages of charts you have) the better to see the amazing monthly (and even yearly) patterns that God has created in each female body.

You asked what you should do on your wedding night if your wife is in a fertile period. That is for you and your (then) wife to decide together. Here is the conclusion my (now) husband and I reached when we realized we would be in that scenario on our wedding night: Since there is no “second take” on a wedding night, we opted to surrender to God’s will and God’s plans for our family, recognizing that in His infinite wisdom, there would surely be a special grace given to a couple & child conceived on such a joyous occasion, on the same day that we conferred a Holy Sacrament upon each other! (Thank you, God for sending me such a wise man!)

Reading or listening to Christopher West’s “Naked Without Shame” series based on JPII’s “Theology of the Body” might give you more food for thought on that…

Ask your fiance how she would like you to be involved before the wedding and after! She can tell you best what she’d appreciate & you can decide what you are comfortable with.

Blessings to you during this joyful enagement time!

StephanieC


#9

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