If you have not already done so, please read my initial post at the bottom of this page.
First of all, I will admit that I wrote said initial post in a state of extreme agitation. I did not mean to insult anyone and I sincerely apologize for doing so. My mother had three surgeries before she could have me and my sister. Saying children are a “punishment” was inappropriate of me and I wish I could retract that statement.
I want to sincerely thank everyone who responded with charity instead of condemning me of being a bad Catholic, screaming that I shouldn’t get married at all, whining about their hurt feelings, or accusing me of being a troll. I am grateful for the links, videos, and articles from those Catholics out there who take the Golden Rule to heart and are not hypocrites when it comes to showing kindness to strangers. I came to this forum genuinely seeking help and I was extremely saddened by how many people attacked and judged me rather than offering charity; you have some serious praying to do and a lot more to learn about the teachings of Jesus.
Judging from the list of birthdays and ages on the main page of this site, it appears that most of the people in this forum are over age 30. I am 23, probably considered a child by most of you and a “petulant brat” by many. A few of you mentioned that I was probably never taught the true teachings of the Church, and you are correct. Most of my generation is ignorant of the truth, and not entirely through our own fault, as most of our parents and teachers don’t care or don’t have time to educate us. We young people are still suffering from the aftermath of the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the easy access to sin through the internet, and the utter lack of spiritual direction in our schools and churches. We are driven away from the Church thanks to mushy preaching, abysmal modern music, and self-righteous people who spew condescension and ridicule like many of you have done to me here. Perhaps many of you have forgotten what it is like to be young and easily influenced by the world. I forgive you, but I beg you to have more compassion with youngsters like myself in the future who are trying just as hard as you are to get to heaven.
I am not making excuses for my ignorance; in fact, I am doing everything I can to remedy it and learn more about my faith. If I was a “bad Catholic” and “unfit to marry” I wouldn’t have bothered to come to this forum in the first place, nor would I have asked total strangers for help. You see, therefore, how desperate I am for truth, and yet perhaps how foolish to seek it in such a place.
As for my fiance and me, we both practice our faith and attend the Latin Mass often. He is a good, kind, and holy man (though so many of you automatically assumed, again, that he is a deadbeat who just wants to get in my pants). I have endometriosis and thus have irregular cycles that are difficult to track. I also live right next door to THE Mayo Clinic and there is no one there or within a reasonable driving distance of me who can teach me NFP. Perhaps I should have mentioned these facts in my initial post, but it was uncalled for and downright rude for many of you to assume that I possess all the intelligence of a taxidermic woodchuck and am too lazy or too stupid to learn NFP. I am merely frustrated with the whole process and envy those folks who seemingly have it easier when it comes to planning their families.
If you will kindly note, I did ask for some kind person to explain to me the teachings of the Church; I didn’t just come here because I have a bone to pick with Catholic Morality. I thank those of you who responded kindly and without judgement. A faith that isn’t worth questioning worth practicing, and I am grateful to the few kind souls who allowed me to voice my concerns without eviscerating me.
This is the second and last time I will ever utilize this site. Congratulations on driving another young person away from the Church! I hope you will keep reading your Bibles and patting yourselves on the back.
INITIAL POST BELOW
Although my username has a man’s name, I am female. Sorry for the confusion
My fiance and I have been engaged for six months and want to get married in June 2017. However, the only thing holding us back is the fear of having children too soon that we wouldn’t be able to provide for. Our worst nightmare is being one of those couples who gets pregnant on our honeymoon and spends the next 32 years of our lives popping out kids with no time whatsoever for travel, vacation, or romance in general.
I am angry because other non-Catholic couples don’t have to worry about this: they just pop a pill or slip on a condom and have all the sex they want with no worries. They’re not punished with children before they even get their lives as a couple figured out.
I have tried learning NFP but it is just too complicated and my diocese has no one to teach me. I also think that NFP places an unfair burden on the woman since the whole procedure of taking temperature, checking mucus (how gross), etc. all falls on her and her alone. Not that the Pill with all its side effects is any better for the woman (I would personally never take it) but even condoms place at least some of the responsibility on the man.
I am tired of waiting to get married and I think it’s horribly unfair that the Church forces Catholic couples to suffer the emotional and financial burden of children right off the bat, while their Protestant and non-Christian friends take vacations, build their dream homes, and sip champagne while looking down on the harried 25-year old Catholic mom who is changing 60 diapers a day. Can someone please help me so I can make sense out of why the Church holds the position of no artificial birth control?